


Healing

by Amali



Series: Regenerating [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, Female Bilbo, Nothing explicit, but probably triggering, fiction as therapy, mentions of past rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-20
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-15 14:50:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 39,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/850793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amali/pseuds/Amali
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Belladonna willingly left the Shire on the quest for Erebor and the dwarves never questioned why, Gandalf's endorsement enough. But after the Company arrives at Beorn's, Thorin finally asks the question he's been trying to avoid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't read much on AO3, and started this after seeing the movie. I tend to work through trauma with my writing and the dwarves really jumped out as a race that would be sympathetic towards other's suffering, given their long exile. The hobbits and the Shire always reflected pre-Industrial Revolution England for me, with the social attitudes such a time entails, so be prepared for a bit of Bella looking at herself in that light.

“Halfling, I would speak to you.” I jumped from the bench where I had been staring out over the clover fields where the giant bees were buzzing and looked up into the bruised faced of our leader. And he truly was my leader now, which was still a fragile thing and we were both hesitant around the other. I brushed back my long honey brown hair from my eyes, noting Thorin’s eyes followed the movement and his face flushed. I stood carefully and straightened my breeches, wishing they were a skirt for the first time since I had stepped out my door after him and took a deep breath.

“How can I help you?” He smiled suddenly and my stomach clenched as he held out his hand. His hurts had been tended to, but the cut over the bridge of his nose was still vivid and his black eye had faded to a sickly yellow. I couldn’t help glancing at his bandages and he brushed his fingers over his face for a moment.

“I wish to offer my services to you, Bella, in return for saving me from more of this. But not here. I think we require privacy.” I flushed as he led me inside Beorn’s hall, my mind whirling. He couldn’t mean what my mind had immediately assumed. No. Not the ever gruff, ever vigilant Thorin Oakenshield. It must be some dwarven custom, to offer thanks in private. He brought me to a smaller veranda that had no windows that led to the interior, and was bracketed on either side with stout walls of river rock covered in ivy. It was cooler in the shadows and I shivered as he sat me on the bench. Before I knew what was happening, his heavy coat was around my shoulders, engulfing me in warmth and a musky scent that was not unpleasant. I squeaked in surprise as Thorin sat across from me, his eyes hooded.

“Um…what did you want to talk about?”

“There is something that has been troubling me. I am sure you recall your first night camping on the road with us.” I flushed to the roots of my hair, hiding my face, and laughed weakly. To my surprise he joined in, his deep laugh rumbling through my chest.

“Yes, well, the less said about that the better.”

“Unfortunately, it is about that I wish to speak. To explain something and to ask you a question in return.”

“Very well.” I marveled at myself. The Bella Baggins of a month ago would not have been so calm discussing a strange dwarf, friend though he was now, propositioning her the first night on the road. Bofur had been very contrite about the whole thing, but he had scared me badly. I was glad we could laugh about it now, our friendship cemented in understanding.

“Sharing our bodies is something we have always done. There is no long term commitment if one is not wanted, and the act keeps us bound together. You see, there are few dwarf women, and frankly the stress of celibacy is something our bodies do not cope with well. Once we are married we cease to stray, but so many do not marry we have had to adapt.” His voice was calm as he talked about concepts that should have shocked me, but my time with them had given some insights into their culture and I nodded.

“I’m with you up to a point. I mean, young hobbits are always tumbling into haystacks, but we’re careful not to do anything that would lead to pregnancy.” I tried to keep my voice light, looking away from him so he would not see my eyes.

“Ah. But there was something else, Bella. The wording you used was interpreted by most the Company to mean you were a virgin, and the taking of virginity is dealt with very carefully, by one who the virgin trusts, and always with the most honor.” Thorin smiled at me gently, his eyes kind. A chill settled in my stomach. “But what you said was that you had no experience with going to a male’s bed. Which struck me as odd, Bella. Most would simply say they were a virgin. What did you mean?”

“Exactly what I said.” I stared at my feet, my mouth dry. But I wanted to tell this strange dwarf, knowing he would have a different reaction than a hobbit now. Perhaps that was what he had been so indirectly offering. Slowly I raised my head to meet his gaze. “That when I was taken, there was no bed, there was no honor and there was no consent.” There. A prettier word. Thorin’s face grew stern and cold at my words.

“What?” His voice was soft, gentle. Suddenly he was at my feet, my hands in his. “You…you were raped?”

“That is another word for it. Let’s see. The neighbors said defiled. My mother said forced. My father said wronged. And not a thing was said against the three who committed the act, for all that I named them.” I titled my head back, fighting the tears I could not stop. Thorin’s face was full of horror and kindness at the same time, and his hands clung to mine.

“How…how could they think to call you such things? How could they think to blame you?”

“You recall I said once I used to walk the length and breath of the Shire and sometimes beyond?” He nodded quickly.

“I do. And I also recall thinking what a small area of the world that was. But I judged you too harshly.”

“Well, it was on one of those journeys. I should not have walked so far, or made my camp where I did. I knew there were hobbits out that way, towards Bree, who…”

“Say nothing more.” Thorin stood, his face angry again. “You should not have done anything differently, Bella. You have no blame in the crime committed against you.” I wept into his chest as he held me awkwardly.

“Everyone blamed me. It’s always my fault. Father died and Mother followed him and no one ever wanted me because they knew I was tainted. Why do you think I was alone in that big smial? Gandalf knew I would run after you because you were my way out of disgrace.”

“I did not think about it while we were there.” Thorin adjusted his grip on me, holding me close. “Is that why you flinch whenever one of my dwarves offers you a hand, or we accidently get too close?”

“Yes.”

“But you did not flinch back from my embrace.”

“Because an embrace…” I laughed shakily, realizing I was getting snot over a King’s chest, “is _nothing_ like what they did to me.” Thorin growled, his hand gentle in my hair.

“I had hoped I was wrong.”

“I wish you were.” I tried to take a deep breath. “How I wish you were.” He tilted my head back and looked into my eyes.

“And that is your only experience?”

“No one else would ever want me.” I felt my face twist. “Damaged goods, you see.”

“I cannot comprehend leaving you believing you had no worth. You are among the bravest, strongest beings I have ever met in this world.” Thorin gently lowered me to the bench, wiping my cheeks with his callused thumbs. “It has happened before among my people, especially on the long road from Erebor. Longbeard girls have sometimes fallen prey to Ironfist males. And the males were punished, and the girls treasured, for they had survived an awful attack. You are not damaged, Bella. You are a survivor.”

“Am I?”

“Yes. No one would fight as hard as you have without a core of steel.”

“I think you are laboring under a misconception, Thorin.” I tried to scoot back from him. “I didn’t care if I died or not. I just couldn’t watch you be thrown around like they were doing. It…it took me back to that day and I just couldn’t…” I wept afresh, but Thorin didn’t draw back from me or laugh at the hobbit who cared so little for her own life. He knelt, his hands on my shoulders comforting in their solid weight, and shook his head.

“Then you are all the braver, Bella, for pushing through such pain to help another from experiencing it. I am doubly honored now, knowing the pain you have borne and that you saw in me a chance to save someone.” I hiccupped messily, knowing I looked a fright and unable to care. “Come, lean forward.” I obeyed dully, his jacket still around my shoulders, as he ripped his sleeve to provide me with a handkerchief. I giggled, slightly hysterically, as he gently wiped my cheeks and allowed me to blow my nose.

“I really need to get a handkerchief.” Thorin snorted softly.

“You and handkerchiefs.” We shared a small smile as I sniffled again. “I will make sure you are left alone from here on out. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Dwalin and Nori have both been dropping subtle hints your way.”

“What?” I squeaked, completely thrown off guard. “At me? Why would they want me?” Thorin sighed deeply, his hand pausing over my lips again. I felt his warmth and was not frightened, which should have disturbed me more than it did.

“You must stop saying that, Bella. You are…amazing. Unique. And if there is anything guaranteed to attract the attention of my people, it is being singular.” I flushed deeply, wondering why my body felt warm as his blue eyes rested on mine, the small smile on his lips lending his face a gentleness I had never seen before.

“I will try to remember.”

“You have saved the life of a King, Bella Baggins. You made your way under the Mountains alone, and have faced every danger with a bravery that I refused to see. You are an amazing being.”

“Then why…” I shook my head, unable to speak.

“Because they were wrong.” I let out a shuddering sigh and leaned back against the wood of Beorn’s lodge, unable to keep myself upright. I had been carrying this hurt silently for over thirty years. Thorin stayed quiet, cleaning my face as best he could. I fumbled at his sleeve as he pulled away.

“Is it…is it truly a pleasure for others?”

“Oh, Bella.” He took my small hand in his. “Yes. When done properly, there is nothing greater.”

“That’s good. I used to be so afraid when the other women would talk of marriage, wondering if…”

“Shh. No. We share in the body sometimes for comfort, but when there is love involved it is even greater. Why, Glóin never ceases to speak of the wonder he had his first night with his wife.”

“Good.” I closed my eyes. Thorin fell silent, but his presence soothed me and I clung to his hand. We stayed there for an hour, until I could open my eyes again, feeling a great weight I had never been aware of lifting from my heart. Thorin looked at me as I stood, letting go of his hand. “Was it my reaction?”

“Yes. A niggling suspicion that has only grown. I will tell no one.” When he stood he towered over me, his eyes still soft and his stance protective. I did my best to smile at him.

“Of all those who already know, you thirteen are the least of my worries. At least you would not hurl it back in my face or laugh behind your hands as I sit at the dances.” Thorin’s face went cold again.

“Will you go back to them?”

“No. I left a letter leaving the place to my cousins in the case I never return, who were the kindest to me. I am sure they have already moved in. The legal wording was airtight.” I smiled, but his face grew sad.

“Then when I accused you…oh, I wish I had known. You are as homeless as we.”

“I had been homeless for far longer than this journey.” Thorin nodded, then held out his hand to me, allowing me to choose to place my hand in his, close my fingers around his first.

“There is a home waiting for you that you have never seen, Bella. And if we succeed, you will be among most honored.”

“Just a place to call home is reward enough. Hobbits aren’t meant for grand things.” Thorin just shook his head as he led me back inside, heading for the baths and giving my face a proper wash before making me change into fresh clothes, standing guard outside the curtains they had hung for me. At Thorin’s insistence, now that I cast my mind back, and I emerged feeling smug in the one nice dress I had stuffed in the bottom of my pack and had forgotten about. It had been meant for my coming of age party, but we had never held it since Father had died. Thorin raised his eyebrow as I stood in front of him, torn between feeling bashful and not caring what he thought.

“You wear my colors.” I realized he was correct; the dress was midnight blue and of the finest silk, embroidered around the neckline and waist with silver snowdrops, each flower centered on a small white bead. I shook my hair back from my face and smiled.

“I chose this a long time ago. Never had a chance to wear it before.” Thorin nodded slowly, seeming to understand the true meaning behind my words before holding out his arm in a courtly gesture.

“It has been many years since I have had the pleasure of escorting anyone to the table, but I think I will remember with such finery at my side.” I placed my hand on his arm and felt a true smile twist my lips as we made our way to the dining hall, sounds of merriment reaching us already.

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” And his answering smile carried me into the presence of my new family, my heart pounding in my ears as I prepared for a new future I had never dared look to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the Company makes an appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to revise another day but the response has been overwhelming. You're all so lovely and kind!

The others in the Company fell silent at our entrance, staring in shock at Thorin’s solicitous hand on mine and my completely out of place finery. Balin spoke first, raising his tankard of mead. “And what a sight to complete the marvels of today. The King and his stalwart rescuer.” Dwalin joined in the toast, and I realized with a shudder his eyes did linger on me in a way I recognized, though I still trusted the large warrior with my life. Thorin gave me the seat next to him at the head of the table, between him and Kíli, and shot a warning glance at both Dwalin and Nori that I pretended not to notice as two sheep came out with food for Thorin and I. Fíli and Kíli asked questions about my dress, wondering if I had used magic to get it here or if our host had presented it to me.

“Neither, silly boys. It has been stuffed at the very bottom of my pack and somehow survived all the adventures with only a few wrinkles.” I smoothed a hand down my skirt, amazed at how appropriate it felt to wear here instead of the Shire.

“I hadn’t realized hobbits wore silks.” Balin smiled at me from across the expansive table, eyes twinkling.

“We don’t as a rule. This was the last present my father gave me before his death, and he had to send away for it from Gondor, I believe. It took two years to reach us.” I tried to keep my tone light but his smile faded to be replaced by concern.

“A kind gift.” Balin nodded soberly, keeping one eye on his king. I felt the heat of Thorin’s gaze but kept my eyes on the table in front of me.

“I suppose it was.” I could think of nothing else to say, and Thorin stepped in, talking about travel rations and other dull things to allow me time to regain my composure. I nibbled at a honey biscuit, my curls in my face, when Kíli nudged my side. I flinched heavily, oversensitive to touch with the memories so long buried dragged to light by my conversation with his Uncle. A small whimper escaped me before I remembered where I was and I was in no danger from my dwarves. Thorin looked torn between yelling at Kíli and comforting me, but Kíli realized something he had done had scared me even if he didn’t know why and he was apologizing, taking care to give me room as I tried to recover my breath. “It’s fine, I was just off in my own head and didn’t hear you.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Kíli’s dark eyes were worried as I finally looked up at him, grateful he was keeping his hands to himself.

“I am. Just when you want to get my attention touch my shoulder, not my ribs.” I heard a pleased laugh from Thorin as Kíli blinked and nodded slowly.

“I will.”

“Old injury, lass?” Dwalin rumbled from down the table and I knew they all saw me flinch again.

“Yes.”

“We’ve all our fair share of those.” Soon there was a bragging contest going on regarding the worst injury taken and I risked a glance at Thorin, who was rolling his eyes as Fíli showed off a scar on his arm.

“Don’t be afraid to tell us where we can’t touch you.” The dark haired dwarf leaned towards me, keeping his voice low.

“I won’t be.” Thorin’s eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled, and for some reason I found it entrancing. Maybe because he had shown me nothing but anger and distrust for the first part of our travels, so any other emotion he exhibited seemed novel. I couldn’t eat much more and excused myself despite their calls for me to stay, but Thorin silenced them with a quiet command in their language and escorted me back to my bed. Before I ducked behind the curtains, I turned to look up at him, noticing how he was careful how close he got to me now. “If you tell them, will you tell them one at a time?”

“If you want me to, that is how I will.”

“I do. We’re a Company and I think they deserve to know it’s not their actions that have me acting this way.” Thorin opened his mouth then closed it, taking a deep breath before replying.

“As you wish.” He bowed over my hand and left me. I slipped out of the dress, folded it carefully, and slipped the warm fabric back where it had spent the past few months, pleased I had finally worn it in front of beings who cared for me. But my dreams that night were unpleasant; I was back in the woods near Bree, running and hearing laughter behind me, growing ever closer but never quite catching up no matter how fast I ran. I felt pressure on my shoulders and a deep voice calling me as I woke slowly, panting in exhaustion. Thorin’s face swam into view, and the moment he saw I was waking he let go of me and stood back. “Bella. Bella, you’re safe in Beorn’s lodge with us.”

“Oh…ugh.” I sat up, my hair damp with sweat and a terrible taste in my mouth.

“You were whimpering. Bad dreams?”

“Yes.” He nodded, and I wondered what he saw when he closed his eyes at night. Did he relive the coming of the dragon endlessly? I hoped not. I saw a few of the others stirring on their mattresses, and realized that Thorin had placed himself between them and I. I heard a roar at the edge of hearing and shivered. “I think I just need to rinse off quickly before I can sleep again.”

“Of course.”

“Do they know?” I found another sleep shirt and breeches and allowed Thorin to help me to my feet.

“They do. I am surprised Dori did not wake you in his anger.” We wound past our companions, and despite the darkness Thorin easily led me towards the bathing chamber.

“That is sweet.”

“Hmm. Perhaps. Unhelpful right now to threaten bodily harm to those far out of our reach.”

“Aye.”

“It has not changed any of their opinions towards you. If anything, it has raised our estimation of your courage.” I sighed, shaking my head. “You deny it?”

“No, just…I suppose I don’t see myself the way you do.”

“Not yet. I will wait out here for you so you don’t get lost.” He closed the door and I stripped quickly, grateful I had left off my small clothes getting into bed, and used the cool water in one of the basins and a washcloth to sponge away the sweat from my skin, and dunked my hair as quickly as I could so as not to keep Thorin waiting. When I emerged, Thorin was in the same place I had left him. He said nothing as he led me back to my bed, but he stood over me for a moment, the set of his shoulders tense. Finally he let out his breath in a shudder and stepped back, bowing to me and going to his bed. I did not dream.

 

The next morning I changed back into my travel clothes, brushed the hair on my head and feet while wishing I had a mirror to see my face. No one else was in the bedroom and I was finally hungry again, so I aimed my steps for the dining hall and found Gandalf and our host along with the rest of the Company. The dwarves fell silent as I appeared, but Beorn called for me and I made my way hesitantly to his side, relieved to find Thorin there. Suddenly Beorn’s hand was scooping me into the air and I froze, my eyes seeking out Gandalf who stood carefully. Before he could get to me, Beorn was poking me in the stomach, rumbling something good-natured and I bit back a sob as Thorin leapt to his feet, his face a thundercloud as the Wizard spoke.

“Beorn, Bella finds being held extremely uncomfortable. Give her here.” Our host took in my terror and gently gave me to Gandalf, who set me down and stepped back as I stood gasping for breath and dizzy with relief that I was back on the ground and no one was touching me. The dwarves, my dwarves, were all staring at me or Beorn, who seemed contrite.

“I…I will be outside.” I turned and walked away, shaking. I made for the private bower where Thorin had wrested my shame from me and was not surprised when he appeared some minutes later, bearing a plate and a glass that he set down, turning to leave. “Wait.” He turned. “Can you stay?”

“Of course.” He bent his head to me and sat, watching me eat. “I am glad your appetite has returned.”

“Me too.” The milk and the biscuits were perfect, soothing my stomach. “Did I scare anyone?”

“Oh, Bella.” Thorin sighed. “We should be asking you that question. Beorn will not be coming near you again. Is there anything you would like to do to take your mind off of things?”

“I’d like to learn to use my letter opener.”

“Yes? I would be very pleased to show you.” Thorin grinned. “I have taught Fíli and Kíli what they know.” I finished my breakfast and went to gather my plate, but I was stopped by Thorin. “Why didn’t you say no to Beorn?”

“It happened too quickly. Couldn’t open my mouth. Being so out of control…” I placed a hand to my stomach and Thorin held up a hand.

“Say no more. We will teach you to defend yourself, my burglar, and no one will take control from you again.”

 

They were true to their word, beginning as soon as breakfast was over. I was taught a very basic stance and defense, both Thorin and Dwalin correcting my every move while the others sat nearby, preparing to leave and keeping an eye on my instructors. Dwalin’s behavior towards me had changed to an almost fatherly concern, and I appreciated that they were both careful to not invade my personal space. I knew an enemy would not be so kind but I needed more time to push reawakened memories from my thoughts.

Nori joined us after a time, showing me subtler movements that took into account my shorter stature and the likely height advantage of any attacker. “Thieves must stick together, Bella.” He winked outrageously and I giggled, Thorin and Dwalin’s obvious disapproval only making me laugh harder at their matched scowls. I heard Bofur’s easy laugh join me and shot my friend a smile that he returned with a tip of his hat.

“He’s right, Uncle.” Kíli joined us, his easy grin encompassing us all. “Bella is better suited to Nori’s style of fighting anyway.”

“As she proved.” Nori smirked over at the two warriors. “Ambush and surprise. Hobbits are light on their feet. Now, Bella, again, as I showed you, and see if Kíli can teach you anything.” Kíli snatched the branch from his Uncle and we danced the forms once more. As the next youngest, Kíli had the agility his elders lacked, but neither did he have their experience, and I managed to land a blow to his arm that he overplayed dramatically, bellowing for his brother to avenge him. Fíli looked up from sharpening his swords and snorted.

“In any fight I would stand at her side, brother, for she did what we could not as a proper _shomakhîth_.” I glanced around, curious, as the dwarrows murmured among themselves for a moment and Thorin gazed at his heir with approval. I knew by now they would not translate their sacred tongue after an innocent comment made early in our travels and took whatever it was Fíli had said as a compliment. Kíli leaned towards me confidentially, though careful to keep his distance as he dropped his voice.

“There is no exact meaning I can give you, but Fíli has named you one of Uncle’s younger guards, a term normally reserved for close kin. And by not disputing it, Uncle has accepted it as truth.” I shot the king a startled glance and was met with a solemn nod before he retrieved his branch from his nephew.

“Well, then, if she is to live up to such responsibility then we must make sure our enemies respect her talents. Come, let us begin again.” I took my position once more and felt the acceptance of my family wash over me, taking some of my carefully acquired defenses with it. They knew I had been violated, and instead of turning from me in disgust they were making sure no one else could take anything from me. If they noticed the tears in my eyes they were kind enough not to mention them, and the clatter of wood on wood made a gentle rhythm under their combined shouts and cries of encouragement. It was an afternoon I was always to remember with great fondness, the day a never fading treasure I held in my heart aganst the darkness soon to engulf us all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shomakhîth - guard who is young. In this context, the closest translation would be housecarl, a Norse and Anglo Saxon tradition of willing allegiance to a lord as a bodyguard on and off the battlefield in return for a home and stipend.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mirkwood. And all the difficulties therein.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we get back to the Quest, and Bella finds herself growing used to her new family.
> 
> Thank you all for your encouragement and comments! I really appreciate them.

When we prepared to leave the great hall, I shook Beorn’s hand carefully and he apologized again, then bent down to whisper he was glad I had friends who would keep me safe, and that he would be looking forward to seeing us again and hearing our stories. The days between Beorn’s lodge and the beginning of Mirkwood were gentle, and at the end of every day one of them taught me to defend myself.

Bifur even let me handle his fearsome boar spear, showing me the proper slashing and stabbing motions to keep my attackers at bay, laughing when I fell under the weight of the weapon and his hand gentle as he helped me to my feet. Still, when we left Gandalf behind and our ponies as well, I didn’t want to go into the dark forest. The dwarves shared my disquiet, but we all took deep breaths and began the trek. Thorin looked furious as he led us onward, and I asked Nori why.

He explained how the elves had left the dwarves to fend for themselves after Smaug, and how too many had died of their wounds or starvation because they had been forced to avoid the wood. I glowered without realizing and Nori grinned. “If you had been there I think you would have bullied that hairless git into helping. Are all hobbits so fierce?”

“My mother’s side of the family can be. The rest of them, not so much.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s a bit of a joke in the Shire that the only thing the Tooks enjoy more than a fight with each other is a fight with another family.” Nori chuckled softly.

“I’ve known some clans like that. Though how you know what clan you’re a part of is beyond me. Is it marked in your dress?”

“No. We’re just all incredibly nosy and keep track. Is that why you all have the…” I waved at my face, unsure what they called their various decorations and Nori nodded. He told me about braids and beads and tattoos and earrings until we stopped for lunch and Thorin called me over to his side, Fíli and Kíli hovering. He glared at them, shooing them back towards the group before turning to me and catching me with a fond smile on my face as I watched the young dwarves slink away.

“They’re ridiculous, aren’t they?” Thorin sighed. “Young they might be still, but among the best fighters. And loyal.”

“A trait shared by all present, I would say.”

“Aye.” Thorin nodded. “I heard you asking about the elves. It’s possible we may encounter them. If we do, I want you to hide. You’re not ready to fight them.”

“Fight elves?” My eyes went wide and I shuddered, unable to imagine facing such tall, graceful beings in a fight.

“They are nothing like those who live in Rivendell. Much as I disliked them, they are of a different blood. The Silvan elves are more prone to violence. And you are not ready to fight them, for all of your bravery.”

“I will. I promise.”

“Good.” Thorin nodded decisively, and we were soon on our way again. His words stuck with me, though, and I realized Thorin had become my king and I his subject, his concern for me no different than his care for any other in the Company. I shot a smile at his broad back and faced Mirkwood with more cheer.

 

Cheer that faded in the face of the long days of darkness, the dwindling of our food stores and the cursed sleep of dear Bombur, who had shared recipes with me every night as we cooked. I could not help carry him, but I did my best to stretch the food until it was gone. Thorin found me digging through the packs frantically, begging my Mother under my breath for an overlooked tin or package. “Bella?”

“There’s no food left, Thorin.” I sat back, clenching my hands in fists to hide their trembling. “I’ve been through everyone’s pack twice.” Thorin took a deep breath.

“Very well. We will see what we can do.” He gathered everyone around our small fire and broke the news. No one groaned or sent blame my way, though I felt it heavily. I had not thought to take stock of all our stores, having always left such things to Bombur. Fíli sat at my side and put a careful hand on my shoulder after asking permission, letting me lean into his chest as I tried to breath.

“Don’t worry, Bella. We’ll be free of this forest sooner or later.”

“It’s the later that worries me.” I took a deep breath. “Dare we forage? Can we trust anything that grows here?”

“We will have to try. Is this the right time of year for berries?”

“Not really, but I only know the growing seasons of the Shire.” I sighed. “I will do my best. Hobbits can usually tell poisonous food from good, at least.”

“Uncle! Bella says she can spot good berries from bad.”

“We can’t leave the path. But everyone keep your eyes peeled, and Kíli, have an arrow ready.”

“I have none left, Uncle.” Kíli dropped his head and Thorin winced, reminded of shooting the hart that we had not been able to catch. The thought of fresh venison was too much and I turned from Fíli and leapt into a nearby tree, ignoring Thorin’s orders to stop my foolishness. I climbed into the sunlight and gasped in the fresh air, delighting in the flight of the blue butterflies, transported home for a moment, but as I turned this way and that, searching, I saw nothing but trees and the sky. With a groan of despair, I clambered down, landing in front of Thorin who scolded me for taking an unnecessary risk.

“I thought I might spy the edge of the woods. But I saw no end to them.” I whispered, not wishing to bring any more ill news to my family. Thorin gripped my shoulder and I watched hopelessness fill his eyes before he blinked and straightened, turning towards Bombur, who was stirring awake. When he heard the news, he groaned at failing in his duty as quartermaster and begged forgiveness, while we tried to tell him anyone could have been where he was when the hart appeared. We stumbled on, looking for anything under the heavy oak trees, but the undergrowth was stunted by the lack of sun and even the mushrooms I saw looked sickly. When night fell, and we saw the light and heard the bewitching music, it was too much temptation even for me as we trouped our way from the path, thinking only of our grumbling stomachs. The rest of the night was a blur of running and hiding and screaming names while hearing nothing but the wind in the trees. I could never recall the hours before dawn clearly, but the rest of the morning was etched firmly in my mind.

 

I crept around the base of the tree, my jaw clenched and my dagger shaking, my throat too dry to continue my frantic shouts. A muffled noise had me in the air before I recognized Bofur’s distinct voice and I wept in gratitude as I cut him free, helping him to his feet and lean against the trunk of a nearby maple as he shakily plucked cobwebs from his hat. “Spiders, Bella. They ambushed us.”

“Are you all here?” I scanned the trees and saw other bundles, some moving, others not. My eyes burned, unable to shed tears and my throat closed around a desperate wail. I could not lose them so soon.

“I don’t know.” Bofur smiled as I pulled the sticky strands from his moustache and sank to the ground. “Be careful.” I was already in the nearest tree and tried to wave reassuringly, my heart aching to see my friend so pale and drained of his normal cheer. Fíli and Kíli had been ensnared close to the other, and it was a near thing getting them to the ground safely. Kíli tottered below me as I freed the others, promising to catch me if I fell, but he ended up having to help Bifur to the ground.

No sooner had I released Bombur and descended than we heard the dry rasp of the voices of their erstwhile captors approach and I had to act, giving up the secret of my ring and ordering them to run. That they obeyed was astonishing but I had more urgent business to attend to. My lessons turned into a deadly test for the spiders of Mirkwood and they ceased their chase after I hacked a particularly large specimen in half with a wild swing Fíli had taught me. But after catching up with my family and watching them suffer the effects of the poison I counted again and my heart froze within me. “Where is Thorin?”

“I did not hear him once the lights went out.” Kíli put his hand over his heart and grimaced, glancing to his brother who was similarly affected. I fell back against a rock, turning as if to chase the spiders, but Óin grabbed my wrist briefly, letting go as soon as I turned to him.

“You are in no shape to face them again, lass.”

“But…”

“I know. But you would only be risking your life and he would not wish it unless there was more certainty of his location. We must stay together.”

“Do you have any herbs I can use to help you all?” I knew my voice shook but Óin nodded and together we devised a paste that might help their bodies rid themselves of the poison, knowing we had to move on before the spiders regrouped. All I could think of as I ground leaves beneath my pestle were gentle eyes smiling at me and a deep voice promising me a home.

After we thought we could all walk, we stumbled on through the woods trying to find our way back to the path. It was hopeless, however, and as we tottered on legs overcome by hunger and poison, I prayed to my Mother that Thorin would be spared our fate, that he had been taken by the elves or killed outright, not doomed to walk to his grave. That night, as we took turns on our watches out of a force of habit, I found myself sitting up with Kíli, who was deeply afraid for his Uncle and King. I asked him of his home and mother to distract him and before Fíli came to relieve us, Kíli thanked me for listening. Pleased that I could still contribute something before we all died, I touched his cheek fondly, as if he was just a little hobbit, and he surprised me by cautiously reaching up for my hand, silently asking permission. I nodded and he took my hand in his. “I miss Uncle.” He mumbled. “He would join me at the tail end of my watch sometimes.”

“I miss him too.” I scooted closer to him carefully, still holding his hand. I forgot that even though Kíli was older than me by twenty years, he was considered younger than me by dwarf standards.

“I didn’t think we’d die like this.”

“Neither did I.” I sighed. “I thought we’d either die before we made it this far, or Smaug would take one look at us, laugh, and eat us.” Kíli snickered at that morbid confession, his unbound hair falling over his face.

“Me too. Night, Bella. Hopefully I see you tomorrow.”

“My hope as well.” Fíli appeared and helped me to my bedroll, since they had finally realized I didn’t have their exceptional night vision. Before he left me, he thanked me for looking after his brother. As I lay back, I wondered what Primula and Drogo were doing at Bag End, and hoped they felt the warm sense of family I did. Going on an adventure and dying in the woods was a small price to pay to find such treasure. I lay awake through the night, since I was the only one not poisoned, my sword ready to defend my kin.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so enters Thranduil and Bella finds herself holding the fate of the Company in her hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, the comments and kudos you beautiful people have left for this story give me life. You're all amazing and wonderful and you've kept me writing long past my bedtime.

But the next morning, when we were surrounded by torches and elves as we stumbled into a clearing, I didn’t bother to think as I slipped on my ring and hung back at the edges, knowing if I could stay free we had a chance. I had been willing to die for my dwarves, and now if I could live and help them I would. The gates slammed behind me and I trotted along the hallways down to the dungeons, waiting for the guards to leave so I could assure the scattered dwarves that they were not without hope. To my surprise, I stumbled across Ori first and checked the passageway carefully before pulling off my ring and knocking against his bars, trying not to jump as he whirled from his small cot, face twisted in anger. “Leave me alone…Bella!” He rushed forward and clung to my hands, opening beaming. “You are all right!”

“Are you?”

“Roughly handled and my things have been taken from me, but unharmed.”

“Have they fed you?” He nodded, his face falling as my stomach took the opportunity to protest.

“I couldn’t help but eat it all.”

“You have eaten as little as I. I will be able to find my own food; you must regain your strength.” He grimaced but nodded.

“When you find my brothers let them know I miss them and will hold strong.”

“I know you will.” We reluctantly let go of the other, and Ori whispered something in Khuzdul, then switched to the common tongue.

“Mahal’s hammer protect you, Bella.”

“And you.” I heard footsteps and went back into the lifeless world of my ring, shivering as I scurried along. There were so many empty cells and I could not fathom that Thranduil had thought he would ever fill them; it must have been overbuilt to cow prisoners and emphasize their isolation. I did not like seeing such calculated cruelty and swore I would defeat the Elvin King no matter the cost for his treatment of my kin. Finally, I saw movement in another cell and slowed, peaking inside and finding Balin stretched out on his bed, hands folded across his stomach. He appeared calm and I admired his nerve, but I saw the twitch at the corner of his mouth and the tightness of his knuckles and took a deep breath before gaining his attention. He reacted slowly, as though such an intrusion was beneath his notice, but as his eyes met mine the mask faded to a pleased grin as he approached.

“Well done, Bella! I have news. One of the guards said ‘keep them far away from the other prisoner.’ He forgets we once traded with them and learning their language was not terribly difficult.” Balin smirked, but his eyes remained worried.

“Thorin!” I gasped as my heart leapt.

“Aye. We need to find him first, lassie. I know you can do it.”

“Thank you. I will let you know if I find the king.” Balin’s words reached me as I took to my feet, a whispered boon that lent me speed.

“He will be glad to know you are safe.” I went deeper and deeper into the dungeons, until I was close to the bottom and panting for breath. Suddenly I heard elves speaking ahead and Thorin’s unmistakable growl. They were opening the door to his prison to feed him, and I seized the opportunity.

Carefully I slipped into the cell and ducked below the bed, waiting for the elves to leave. They finally did and I went to stand as far from Thorin as I could before slipping off my ring and clearing my throat. “Thorin?” He had slumped on his bed but he leapt to his feet and took two angry steps forward before he registered my presence.

“Bella! How did you get in here?” He hissed, looking around carefully as if the rest of the Company would step from thin air.

“The rest have been captured. I slipped in while they fed you. I need a safe place to sleep. I haven’t had proper rest since I last saw you.” He looked at me and his face softened into a small smile.

“I am pleased you trust me. Would you like the bed?”

“Only…only if you can lie beside me. I am afraid of my dreams.” I dropped my eyes from him, shame turning my face red. He would not know of the spider attack and I told him briefly, demonstrating my ring’s powers to his utter astonishment.

“Of course I will protect you, as I can.” They had taken all but the bottom layer of his clothes, and as I dug in my pack for my sleeping shirt and breeches Thorin simply took off his heavy boots and turned his back on me as I changed.

“The others are all close together. When we escape I will have to get you first.”

“You think we can?” He helped me jump up into the elf sized cot and drew the bedding over me, making sure I could not be seen from the door. The mattress was thin and the blankets scratchy, but I felt as though I had found my old bed at Bag End and allowed my body to relax as I answered Thorin's question.

“Yes. It may take some time and planning, but you have a burglar in place who can go invisible.”

“The ultimate weapon, I suppose. Tomorrow, tell the others not to say a thing, and we put ourselves in your capable hands.” The bed was large enough I didn’t feel crowded and knowing Thorin was there to protect me helped me fall into a deep sleep. Thorin had memorized the schedule of the guards and woke me with enough time to dress and slip on my ring. My pack was hidden under the bed frame, and Sting was belted around my waist. As the door swung open and Thorin pretended to just be waking, giving me time to slip free, I ran away from the elves as fast as I could.

I spread Thorin’s message among the others, who were gratified that their leader still had hope, and they encouraged me to find out what I could. Nori, his hair in disarray but the twinkle in his eyes unrepressed, told me to not worry about thinking of a plan, because they could help with that with the proper intelligence. He carefully reached out his hand and twitched when I met it with my invisible one, but he squeezed gently. “You’re a brave lass, Bella. Good luck.”

“Thank you, Nori. I’ll be back.”

 

The next two days were exhausting. I looked everywhere for a weakness in the strange mountain kingdom, and found nothing. I was shaking when I made it back to Thorin, just in time to roll inside the door before it was closed. Thorin smiled when I became visible, but he must have seen my misery as I threw the ring away from me and covered my face. “Bella?” He retrieved the little ring of gold and carefully put it on the rickety chair before kneeling by me. “Halfling, are you hurt?”

“I’m so _tired_. I don’t like where that thing takes me. It’s cold and sensations are muted and colors are washed out. And I can’t find anything useful. The gates only open for elves. There’s only one gate! So what do I do?” I was crying, but softly. “I’m scared. I have to be so careful getting food and I can’t walk through the well-lit corridors because they’ll see my shadow. And I just…”

“Shh.” Thorin put a careful hand on my shoulder. “Can I pick you up?” I tensed, but then nodded. I trusted Thorin. He swung my body easily into his arms and got me into bed, even though I hadn’t changed. I couldn’t make myself care. I was just wearing my breeches and my shirt, having left everything else behind to make less noise. Thorin lay beside me, and stared at me as I inched closer. “Bella?”

“I’m cold. To my bones.”

“You are brave to stay in such a strange world.” He was still a furnace of heat, even more so without all his layers. I remembered how that warmth felt when he had embraced me on the Carrock, a soothing glow, but now it was a raging inferno. Normally I would never have dreamed of doing this. But I was so cold, and I had to avoid the fires of the elves. He touched my hand and his breath hissed. “You are ice! You are like this all day?”

“Aye.” Our eyes locked and my king reached out his hand for my cheek, pressing his warm fingers to my frozen skin as he asked a question.

“Do you trust me?” I didn’t hesitate to give him my answer, pleased at the smile he flashed me.

“Yes.” He drew the blankets over us, allowing me to turn and press my back to his front, my shaking subsiding slightly. He took a deep breath.

“May I put my arm around you?”

“Yes.” His arm was huge, his bicep becoming my pillow as I adjusted, his hand stretching out across my stomach. “You are so warm. I thought I was going to freeze tonight.”

“Never while I am here for you. Now. Do you wish to sleep, or talk?”

“I will drop off soon, I am sure.” I yawned. “Talk might speed me along.”

“Have you considered exploring the other cellars?”

“I hadn’t.”

“I seem to recall Thranduil once speaking of how the river of Mirkwood came very close to their mountain. He was cagey about it, but he did mention it was a relief having a water source that enemies could not target. I thought, as did we all, that it was simply so close they could get there easily.”

“But…you think it might run into the kingdom?”

“Exactly.” He sounded pleased I was with him, his voice rumbling through me. “And it would have to have an entrance and an exit.”

“And we are already on the same level.” I giggled sleepily. “How considerate of them.” Thorin chuckled, shifting slightly so that my head came under his chin. I fell asleep soon afterward, and when I entered the frozen half world of my ring in the morning, I did not feel the chill as badly as I had before.

 

Thorin’s thoughts had proven true, but the river was a raging tempest and there was no way we would be able to keep afloat. As I crouched in the shadows, I heard a strange rumbling growing closer and nearly screamed as large barrels flew by me into the river, bobbing like corks as they were swept away. The conversation of the servants was most enlightening, however, and I giggled as I ran back to Nori. He flinched at the idea, but agreed, reluctantly, that it was the only egress that was not guarded by magic.

“If you can get my lock picks…” I was glad he couldn’t see my face.

“All of your gear is locked away, high above. I can’t get near it. I’m so sorry.”

“Ah, well. Then you must be a sneaky thief indeed and get the key. There is only one for all these doors.”

“I will try.” I heard footsteps and bid Nori a hasty goodbye before running back to Thorin and waiting for his food to arrive. When I slipped inside again, Thorin took a deep breath and I saw a smile quirk his mouth before his mask slipped into place and he ate his food quickly, handing the tray back and turning his back on his captors as the door was closed.

“You still smell of flowers.” I froze as I pulled my ring off and set it aside, staring at his broad shoulders. “Lavender? Yes, I think it’s lavender. I am glad that even the stink of a filthy elf cave cannot take it from you.” He turned, his blue eyes dancing at my startled mien.

“I found it. You were right. But the river is too fast. We will have to…to get into barrels and float down.”

“Barrels?” Thorin looked taken aback as I shucked Sting, slipping the scabbard under the bed. I nodded. He curled his lip, then shrugged. “If barrels take us home, I will become a barrel rider. I have done stranger things for my people.”

“Like get lost in the Shire?” I teased as I fetched my sleeping clothes and Thorin's eyes danced at me.

“Blasted little hobbit paths. Nothing like a proper road to help weary travelers in the dark anywhere to be found.” He turned as I changed, and while I was not so cold as before, I had not dreamed while he held me, so when he climbed into bed and I scooted closer, he simply held out his arm and let me relax into the safety of his embrace. His nose was in my hair and I could hear him sniffing it, making me giggle again.

“Lavender? I don’t understand how that’s possible. I haven’t been near a flower since Beorn’s.”

“Hmm. I think Mahal’s Queen has lain her blessing on you.”

“Mahal has a queen?” I tried to turn to see if he was joking, but his arms were tight around me.

“Of course. Your own Mother.”

“I didn’t realize the Father of Stone was Mahal.” I blinked in surprise, the gentle stories of my childhood suddenly twisting into a greater understanding of how the hobbits and the dwarves shared more than I had ever suspected.

“That is a good name for him.” Thorin chuckled. “Ah, yes, our Maker and your Mother are a good match for the other. Much as you are to our skills.”

“Hmm. I wish I had known.”

“It took me some time to realize the Mother you spoke of was Yavanna. Now sleep, my Bella. If you are to steal a key and release barrels, you will need your rest.” My plan was passed from dwarf to dwarf the next morning, and Nori gave me some ideas of how to lift the key from the captain, counseling patience and stealth over Dwalin’s blunt advice to snatch it and run. Balin told me to listen to the servants at their meal and it was crouching in the shadows I learned of the feast to come. Delighted, I made a commitment to my family that I would have them free before the dessert was served and the hope that bloomed in each of them granted me all the warmth I needed to push myself towards my goal.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The escape leads to a threat to Bella, and the dwarves have to save her, putting her trust in her new family to the test.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're all so lovely and supportive! Thank you all for your kudos and comments again. This chapter is a little short, but the next one is much longer to make up for it.

The days leading to our escape, I begged my dwarves to act docile, and perhaps broken if they could manage it, and as I hoped the watch on the cells loosened to the point I could take my time talking to my family, and getting food from the kitchen became less difficult. The night of the great feast, I hovered near the guard captain, watching as she fell into a drunken stupor with barely contained glee, barely managing to stop my hands from clapping together. When I opened Thorin's door and he stepped out into the corridor with my pack on his back, his proud smile saying everything he needed to. It was hard to keep the juibilant reunions between brothers and cousins quiet, but Thorin had everyone moving, reminding them they were not free yet.

But the plan hit a snag when I had everyone gathered next to the river and tried to get them into the barrels; many of them complained I had not accurately described how violent the water was, and despite my protests I had hidden nothing, they all refused. It took Thorin’s sharp orders to even get them moving and I was treated to a barrage of glares. I was far beyond caring. I stomped my foot and told them they were welcome to their cells and the never-ending hospitality of the elves, but I was leaving and they would have no other chance. They finally agreed and I rushed around, making sure their barrels were shut tightly until it was just Thorin and I. He glared at me. “Who will close your barrel?” My heart froze, but I tried to smile past my panic. Oh, I was an _idiot_.

“I have the ring. I will ride an empty barrel and no one will see me.”

“Too dangerous.” He growled, putting a hand to my cheek. “You could drown. You said yourself you’re no great swimmer.”

“There is no other choice!” I hissed. “I can hear them!” His face twisted in agony, then he grabbed my shoulders and stared into my eyes.

“At least ride my barrel. Please. So I know you are safe.”

“All right! I’ll do my best! But please,” and I knew I was near tears and my voice was hysterical, “get in the thrice damned barrel now, you foolish dwarf!” He wrapped some of my hair in his hand for a moment before jerking back, removing his hands from me and getting in the barrel, grumbling about the fit as his shoulders brushed the sides. My pack couldn't fit inside with him so I put it back on as I closed the lid and slipped on my ring when the elves entered, trying to stay with Thorin’s barrel as it was rolled away from me, hoping he was all right as I made a flying leap and landed on top, whimpering as we began a wild ride through the fast moving water. “Thorin?”

“Just hold on, Bella.” He sounded pained as we whirled down past boulders and eddies and I screamed as we were caught in a whirlpool, but he kept soothing me until the stream turned into a river and I could release my death grip from the sides. I panted, soaked to the skin, as the sun sank below the trees and the barrels were collected and beached. I released Thorin, removing my ring as he crawled to the bank and glared at me. “I never want to hear you scream like that again.”

“Then plug your ears next time I rescue you.” I collapsed on the bank, sopping wet and miserable. He laughed as he stood and started to release the others. As soon as they were free, Fíli and Kíli came over, setting me upright and asking if they could sit on either side of me. Though their warmth was diminished from the river, they were warmer than I, since I had been fully submerged several times, and I leaned into Fíli’s shoulder, smelling the apples that had so bothered him and trying not to give into my hysterics. Thorin came over and scolded his nephews, finally taking in my sodden state.

“Get her dry! She’s going to freeze to death. Bella, where is your pack?” I waved where I had dumped it. “Kíli, see if you can find something dry. Glóin, can you start a fire?”

“I will try.” The fierce warrior glanced at me and firmed his jaw. “Whatever it takes.”

“I have a tinderbox still.” I offered weakly, my body shaking. Thorin spat what sounded like a curse in his own tongue, then glared at Fíli as Glóin rushed towards my pack.

“You know what we’ll have to do, sister son.”

“She’ll panic.” Fíli’s voice sounded not far from panic himself, infecting me with worry.

“Maybe not with me.” Thorin cursed again, stomping over to the others while Fíli ran a soothing hand down my arm.

“What are…what…talking about?” I stuttered, my body shaking so hard I couldn’t stay upright.

“You have the cold deep in your body. We must get you dry, and if all of your clothes are wet we will have to strip you naked before the fire and one of us must give you our warmth.” I stiffened, and Fíli grimaced. “You will die otherwise. Ah, it seems your tinderbox has survived.” He chivvied me to my feet and I staggered over towards the small fire, unable to feel my skin. “Uncle, her lips are blue!” Thorin growled, his curled lip only heightening his resemblance to a wolf and I whimpered as Fíli brought me closer.

“Kíli, anything?” Kíli’s voice was tight with worry as he responded.

“Nothing. Sopping wet.”

“Hang it to dry on the other side, then. The rest of you, turn your backs. Glóin, start them another fire.” Thorin was taking off his wet shirt, his feet already bare. I was going numb, unable to react to anything around me. Fíli sat me down and left me as Thorin knelt by my side, his hands on my shoulders. “Bella, can you hear me? Bella!”

“Cold.” I tried to focus on him but my body shook so hard my vision was blurred.

“Bella, I have to take off your clothes. Forgive me.” His fingers went down to my buttons and I started to cry, trying to get away, but he easily held me until my shirt could be peeled off and my binding followed. I wept, but his hands were gentle and he kept talking to me as he dropped his hands to my breeches and tugged them down, his eyes averted. My small clothes fell from me and I was naked before him, but Thorin kept his eyes on mine as he tugged off his own breeches, leaving his damp braies on, then sat in front of the fire, pulling me into his lap and wrapping his arms around me.

We were so close to the blaze I should have been uncomfortable, but I could barely register the heat. There were two points of chill on my back, but they were soon gone and I could barely focus on staying awake. Thorin rubbed his hands up and down my arms, down my legs, across my feet. I shuddered and kept trying to escape, but I was so weak he didn’t even have to stop me. He kept apologizing, telling me I was a hero of Erebor already and that my name would be sung by his people through the Ages for the sacrifices I had made for the Longbeards. Through it all I wept, waiting for the gentleness of his touch to turn to violence and hurt me, but it never did. Finally I felt warmth surge through my limbs and I gasped at the pain, keening as my skin protested.

“Can you feel that? Oh, I know it hurts, darling Bella. Brave girl. Your clothes will be dry soon. We’ll get to sleep in a bed tomorrow in Lake Town and I will make sure you get the best food and care. All the tea and handkerchiefs and pipeweed you desire.” My tears dried as I came back to myself, knowing that Thorin would never lay a finger on me that was dishonorable, and that he was saving my life again. I laughed at his promises and he sighed deeply in relief, pulling me closer to his hairy chest. “Kíli! Is anything dry yet?”

“Almost, Uncle. Is she doing better?”

“Somewhat. The moment something is dry let me know.”

“We will.” Thorin pressed his lips to my neck and I flinched. He jerked back, his voice unsteady with remorse.

“I am sorry. I didn’t think. Forgive me, Bella.”

“No, it’s all right. Your beard tickles me.” He loosened his grip on me, but I pressed myself to him, wishing for something I couldn’t put words around. My shaking had subsided by the time my clothes were dry; Thorin was quick to release me and allow me to redress, and I realized he was still wearing his wet braies as he stood before the fire.

“You must take care of yourself, my King.” I scolded him through cold lips. “Your other clothes are dry. Go!” I shivered again before I could stop myself.

“Only if you sit here and stay warm.” I sat where he pointed, trying to smile to reassure him I was well as he went to change. When he came back, he asked to hold me again to keep me warm through the night and we fell asleep close to the fire, clinging to the other.

 

I was horribly ill when we got to Lake Town, but Thorin upheld his promises. I was constantly tended by one of the Company, Óin concocting teas and remedies for me, the others spooning hot broth into my mouth patiently. Handkerchiefs arrived by the score and were washed as I dirtied them. I fell into a fever and they sweated it out of me, Thorin often by my side when he was not deflecting the greed of the Master and resupplying the Company. They told me stories about their families, or about the history of their people, and sang me songs to help me sleep. My throat was too raw from coughing to reciprocate, but I enjoyed learning more of my family and committed what I could to memory, determined that I would avoid the unintentional insults of the first weeks of our time together. I learned the details of their braids, how the beads represented status and how adoption worked. Fíli and Kíli were adamant that I would be of their line just as if I were a dwarf born but I privately doubted the greater Longbeard community would be as accepting as the Company. Still, I appreciated their concern and attentions, and waited impatiently for my health to return so we could leave the town of Men and return to our home. 

Finally, a morning nearly a week after our arrival, I woke and sat up, weak, my head clear and my skin back to its normal temperature. I was dressed in odd clothing, too baggy by far, but the wool was soft and thick. To my bewilderment, I was alone, and I poked my head into the hallway to find Fíli trotting towards me with a tray. He gave a cry of joy when he saw me, setting the food down and rushing forward to take my hands, exclaiming over the color in my cheeks and the sparkle in my eye. I wanted real food so he took me to the kitchen and gave me everything he could think of, tea, eggs, bacon and piles of biscuits that Bombur had made the night before. Even by hobbit standards I was ravenous and knew my body needed all I could feed it after nearly a month of little nourishment.

Thorin entered the kitchen to see what the commotion was, and when he saw me he flashed the largest smile I had ever seen and sat by me, making sure I was truly recovered. When the Prince and King were assured of my health they paraded me in front of the Company, who were quick to celebrate my return to normal. They had been busy when not nursing me, and our supplies were almost ready. We would be leaving soon, but I ignored the tickle of fear in my stomach as I allowed them to pamper me with treats I had sorely missed. Nori made a point of giving me thick rashers of ham and Dwalin ensured my plate had a more than generous serving of grilled tomatoes, saying he remembered me bemoaning the lack too many times. It was wonderful and welcoming, and through it all Thorin sat at my side, his silent presence a balm.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella asks Thorin her own question, and his reply changes everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where I earn the explicit tag. See end notes if you want to know more before reading.

We were going to Erebor tomorrow. We sat around the table in the too big clothes that I had done my best to cut down and hem with Dori, trying to keep the conversation light, but silence reigned. I had a pressing question I needed to ask Thorin, but I couldn’t move my mouth. He must have seen my gaze falling on him again and again, for at the end of the meal he stood and came to my side. “Aye, Halfling?”

“I need…I need to ask you something. Privately.” I flushed, but he nodded gravely and offered me his hand so I could get down from the bench. He led me to one of the studies and closed the door. I turned halfway from him, keeping my eyes on the window. “I am afraid of what we will face in the Mountain. I accept the dangers, but there is a good chance we are going to our death.”

“Yes.” And I so appreciated his honesty and admired his courage that I knew I was making the right decision as I tried to speak.

“I don’t want to die without. Without.” I shivered as he stepped in front of me, his eyes trapping mine, my voice dropping as I found my words. “I do not wish to die never knowing the pleasure that others have known.” His breath caught in his throat.

“Are you asking…?” His voice trailed off, his surprise evident as I ducked my head, trying to calm myself.

“I am. There is only one being in this world I could ever trust to ask, and that is you, Thorin Oakenshield. If you do not wish to I understand.”

“Hush. It would be an honor, Belladonna Baggins. Truly, I had dreamed foolishly of you choosing me to share in _sanzarira_ ever since I saw you leap in front of me to save my life, but then I realized what had happened to you and thought I could not dare to hope.” That such a handsome dwarf wanted me, a simple hobbit, was enough to bring my head up sharply to see the sincerity in his gaze as he knelt before me, his eyes never leaving mine. “I will prepare everything for you, my Bella. Would you like to wait here or in my chambers?”

“In your chambers. Else I fear my nerve will fail me.” He stood and nodded.

“They are unlocked. I will keep the others from following you.”

“I can get up there unseen.” I held up the ring and he laughed.

“Of course. I will see you soon, _mazarinh_.” I disappeared and snuck easily to his room as he went towards the common area, closing the door behind me and setting the ring aside. A single candle burned on the nightstand, but the dimness was soothing and I made no move to light the other tapers. I wore a simple tunic from a human child and the laces were at my front, as most of my clothes had been ruined by the water, and I had left off my binding and small clothes in anticipation of Thorin agreeing to this. I felt flushed but I went to clamber into one of the big chairs, curling up on myself as I waited.

Thorin knocked, and my voice shook as I bid him to enter his own chambers, appreciating the gesture as he barred the door. He was holding a small tin in his hand that he set on the bedside table before walking over to me, stopping a few feet from his goal. I sat up and slipped to the floor, accepting his hand and following him to the bed. I needed help to reach the top, and I sat cross-legged in the middle of the mattress as Thorin removed his boots and followed. He sat against the headboard, his eyes on me. “I will be gentle as I can. If anything that I do scares or hurts you, please tell me and I will stop. I know you are brave, but don’t push through anything. That is not the point. I want to make you feel the pleasure that has been denied you and nothing more.”

“I understand.” I whispered, then crawled across the covers to sit closer to him, reaching out my hand for him. “How would you begin if I was a dwarf who had asked you to do this?”

“Much as I am now.” Thorin took my hand in his and brought it to his lips, kissing my fingers as he held my eyes with his. “I have only done this once before, you see. Most would never dare approach their King for their _sanzarira_ , as they do not know me well.”

“Their loss.” He chuckled, pressing another soft kiss to my wrist and sending a thrill of excitement through my body.

“You are so sweet, my Bella. Lavender and pipeweed are surprisingly complimentary.” Another kiss, this time on the palm of my hand. I reached out with my other hand to caress his face, finding his beard was softer than it had been on the road. He leaned into my touch, closing his eyes for a moment. I trembled, the realization that he truly wanted me overwhelming. He found pleasure in me as well. I felt some of my fear dissipate as he opened his eyes. “May I kiss you?”

“Yes.” I smiled. He reached out for me, taking my chin in one hand and the other brushing through my hair, then his warm lips were on me and I moaned as his tongue flickered against mine, asking for entrance that I gave him. He was gentle, but I could sense his strength as his hands tightened on me and pulled me closer. I began to kiss him back and it felt so wonderful, my entire body felt like it was glowing as Thorin groaned softly and pushed farther into my mouth, and I could sense his desire for me, for all of me, and I couldn’t believe again that a King could see anything amazing in a simple hobbit. We broke apart, and Thorin’s eyes were dark, his cheeks flushed and his chest heaving.

“How was that?”

“Wonderful.” He laughed in surprise, his hands on my face.

“Would you like to lie down?”

“Oh yes. And I want you out of all these things.” I tugged on his oversized outer shirt and he smiled as he obliged me. I shivered as his bare torso, large and hairy and so unlike a hobbit’s was exposed again. I remembered how it felt when he held me in front of the fire and I wanted that back, the feeling of absolute trust. I saw what had chilled me as well; golden bars pierced his nipples and glittered dully in the candlelight. He lay back and watched me, but I could see that he was restraining himself and I frowned as I burrowed into the pillows next to him, our noses almost touching.

“What was that ferocious look for?” His voice was gentle as he brushed one of my curls from my face, his touch warm.

“I…I don’t want you to feel like I’m made of blown glass. I want to feel your strength because I trust you, Thorin. I know you won’t hurt me.” His eyebrows drew down and he frowned in his turn before leaning forward and kissing me again, harder this time, his arms drawing me to his chest and holding me tightly as he stole the breath from me. I wanted him and this was like nothing I had ever experienced, the safety of his arms soothing away old fears.

This time when we broke apart, I ducked my head below his chin and kissed his neck, ignoring his startled grunt as I worked down the thick column of muscle to his chest, where I kissed his collarbone and warm shoulder, feeling him moaning my name in my chest. I looked up at him, and the look he was giving me was equal part desire and amazement before he chased my lips down and captured them in his again. We kissed for long minutes until I realized my thighs were damp and I broke away, confused. Thorin cupped my face in his large hand. “Still doing all right?”

“I’m not sure.” I took a deep breath and he leaned back from me, still smiling, giving me space as I looked over at him and decided this was no time for hobbit manners. “I’m damp between my legs and I don’t know why.” His chuckle disarmed me.

“That’s supposed to happen. Your body is getting ready for me.” I tugged at my laces and I saw Thorin’s gaze grow sharp and hungry as some of my chest was revealed. “May I?” I nodded and let him undo the ties until he could push the tunic from my shoulders, his touch reverential. “I have been dreaming of your soft skin for months, my Bella.”

“Then dream no longer.” I wiggled my shoulders, allowing the fabric to fall around my waist, the look on Thorin’s face assuring me I had stunned him. He let out his breath in a rush and leaned back, his eyes staring. I pushed the tunic off of me and he leaned forward with a growl before shaking his head and taking a deep breath.

“You startling creature. You are so beautiful.” I blushed as I lay down again, my hands twining in the blankets, unsure what to say to such a statement. Thorin hummed deep in his chest, his hand going to my hair and brushing it from my face again. “What would you like me to do?”

“I want to see all of you.” My eyes flickered up to him and he nodded seriously. As he stripped himself, the rest of his body as strong and hairy as his chest, I tried to catch my breath. His tattoos and piercings only served to highlight the masculinity of his body and I bit my lip, whispering, “You are beautiful as well, Thorin.” He smiled at me, pleased, as he eased himself below the sheets and touched my lips with his rough thumb. I traced a series of runes, red against the pale skin of his ribs, and he shivered.

“I’m going to show you something. Tell me how this feels.” He dropped his mouth to my neck, kissing gently down my body to my breasts. He growled again, taking one in his hand and the other in his mouth, causing me to arch upwards with a moan and bury my hands in his long hair, urging him onward. He gave a pleased rumble at that, his wicked tongue leaving me gasping before he bent his head to my stomach, leaving a trail of wet kisses that had me giggling and moaning in turns. But suddenly his kisses went lower, over my mound, and his hand was on my thigh. I flinched and tried to breath, but Thorin felt my tension and backed off immediately, his face contrite. “Too fast.”

“No! No, I just…please, wait!” I sat up, reaching my hands out for him, begging him to come back to me. He crawled forward, his hands on either side of my waist as I kissed him. “It feels so good, Thorin. I want more. Just let me get used to your touch on my legs for a while.” He nodded carefully, his beads catching the low light of the single candle, then kissed me again.

“Anything you want, my Bella.” He carefully put his hands on my upper thighs and let them sit there as he kissed my neck. His hands were gentle on me despite their calluses, and I surprised us both with a breathy moan as I parted my legs. Thorin’s voice was hushed. “You are beautiful.”

“Show me.” He ran his fingers down through my damp curls, and I heard his breath growing rough as he parted my damp folds and I shivered in desire. Then his thumb brushed into something and I lost my composure, throwing my head back and crying his name as I squeezed my eyes shut while trying to remember who I was.

Thorin laughed softly, bending his head between my slick thighs, and his warm, wet tongue was wrapped around whatever it was that was making me mewl like a kitten and fireworks explode in my brain, brighter than even Gandalf’s finest work. Suddenly my entire body shook and heat shot from between my legs to my brain, leaving me gasping and boneless. Thorin leaned back, licking his lips and panting, the smile on his face full of laughter. “What in the Mother’s name did you just do to me?”

“Gave you an orgasm.” He leaned over me to kiss my lips and I tasted something salty and sweet on his beard. When I asked him what it was and he told me, I blushed, making him laugh harder as he enfolded me in his arms and pressed his hips to mine. I did not flinch, but draped my leg over his waist, my hands going to his hair to grab hold of him. Thorin groaned, his hands going down my back to my ass, which he squeezed gently.

“I liked it.” I bit my lip as I looked up at him through my lashes and he grinned down at me as I tugged his hair.

“Oh yes?”

“Can we try again?” Thorin kissed my neck and hummed softly.

“Of course.” I lay back as Thorin knelt between my legs and asked if he could use his fingers. I nodded and was soon clenching a pillow over my face as I felt two of his strong fingers entering me. It didn’t hurt and it didn’t scare me, especially with his wicked mouth sucking and licking on my center of pleasure and taking me over the edge three more times before I begged for a breath. He leaned back, panting and staring up at me with such desire in his eyes as his hand cradled his erect penis, which also had a golden piercing that made me wince. I had been avoiding looking at it, and he saw the flash of fear in my eyes. He spoke quickly, trying to assure me. “I wasn’t planning on…well, I wasn’t sure if you would want to have me inside you. There are so many other ways I can pleasure you.” I worked moisture back into my mouth and scooted closer to him.

“Can I touch it?” His face softened and he guided my hand along his warm shaft, showing me how to pull back his foreskin so I wouldn’t hurt him and letting me run my thumb along his weeping head, throwing his face to the ceiling and hissing softly. I had never considered that males could be as sensitive as females, and he was patient as I grew bolder, though the occasional involuntary twitch when I was too gentle let me know how difficult this was for him as he told me where and how to touch him.

I finally worked up my courage, placing a finger on the piercing that went through the head of his cock and Thorin groaned loudly, his eyes closed and his chest heaving as he cupped my cheek in his hand. “You undo me, thief. I’ve never been touched this way before.” He bent to kiss me and I could feel his desire spasm through him as I slid my hand up his firm, warm skin to his rough curls. I took a deep breath as he leaned back from me, meeting his gentle eyes and placing my hand on his chest, his solid heartbeat soothing me.

“I want to have all other memories replaced with you, Thorin.” I spoke softly. “I want you inside of me and on top of me, my King. To be held in your arms and have you kiss me breathless.” His mouth dropped open slightly as he stared at me, and when he replied his voice was a low growl.

“You are astonishing.” I bit my lip as he straddled me, his breath hot on my cheek as he reached for the small tin and sat back again, rubbing some kind of salve on his hard cock as he watched me. “This is to ease my entrance into you.”

“I appreciate that.” Thorin seemed to think he was ready, for he tossed the tin aside and positioned himself between my legs, moving slowly. As he pushed into me, I bit my finger and closed my eyes, focusing on the sensations. His entrance didn’t cause me pain and I felt myself relaxing as he waited patiently. The piercing that I thought would hurt only seemed to tease me and I moaned in desire. “More?”

“As you wish, my Bella.” It took long minutes for him to fully sheath himself, but he was patient and when I was full of him I was able to smile as he waited for me. I rocked my hips forward and gasped at the sensation as Thorin growled. It felt amazing. I wanted more. I raised my hand to his chest and ran my fingers through his soft hair, then tugged gently on one of his nipples, the bar warm under my fingers.

“Kiss me, Thorin.” He obeyed me, his hands going to my shoulders. His beard was still soft and his lips were warm on my ear as he asked a question.

“Are you ready?” I shivered in desire and nodded frantically, arching into his chest and digging my hands into his shoulder blades.

“Yes.” He flexed his hips slightly and I closed my eyes, whimpering for more until we had both abandoned all restraint and Thorin was on top of me, biting my neck and plunging into my willing body as I reached orgasm one final time before Thorin growled, pulled out of me and spilled himself across my belly and breasts, his breath hissing out in a long shuddering sigh. I started to laugh weakly, knowing I was drenched in sweat and covered in his seed and I had never felt happier. Thorin fell back from me, joining in my laughter as he recovered his breath and leaned over to grab a length of toweling I hadn’t noticed on the bedside table. He cleaned me gently, laying kisses wherever he could, and I returned the favor as he lay beside me. I glanced out the window and saw the moon rising over the wide river, blinking at how late it had become. “We have an early start tomorrow.”

“Aye.” Thorin pulled me down onto the pillows, his eyes staring into mine. “But I have you and a warm bed tonight, and I do not intend to waste either. Was it what you hoped?”

“More than I ever could have expected.” I buried my head in his chest, breathing in his warm scent, mingled sweat and musk and sex. I breathed deeper, and suddenly his musk tickled a memory of digging in my garden, the sun warmed earth newly turned and dark, rich loam beneath that promised a fertile harvest. I breathed in again and Thorin laughed.

“What is it? Do I stink so badly?”

“Only of good earth.” He chuckled tiredly, running his hands through my hair.

“And that pleases you?”

“More than I can explain. It is a scent of safety and trust. What does my scent mean to you?”

“Lavender? I suppose you above all deserve to know.” But Thorin sat up and blew out the candle before lying down beside me, allowing me to pillow my head on his arm and press myself to him. “When I was a very young child, perhaps six or seven, my mother took me down to Dale. I think she was visiting the Queen for some diplomatic function, but they met in the garden of the palace and I was allowed to wander. There was a large bed of lavender and I fell asleep in it, listening to my mother’s voice.” Thorin wiped at my cheek gently and I realized I was crying. “I could never confess to loving such a scent to another dwarf. They would think me insane. But it is my favorite because it reminds me of a time when everything was safe.” I grabbed his hand and planted a kiss on the palm, then ducked my head under his chin to whisper in his ear.

“I will help you reclaim your home, Thorin. No matter what.”

“Your home too, my Bella.” Thorin kissed me again. I leaned into him, wishing we had more time and grateful for what he had already given me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is half the reason I started to write this story. Just because I wanted a story where a victim of rape went on to have a healthy relationship that acknowledged the pain but had good, happy sex. Because while it took me a long time to get there, that's what I have today and I'm so lucky. So that's what this is, and the thought process behind it.
> 
> mazarinh - daring lady  
> sanzarira - true offering


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella comes face to face with the Desolation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're all so wonderful! I can't believe the response to this and hopefully I continue to intrigue and please.

The next morning we woke to the sun sliding over the horizon and I felt Thorin’s erection brush against my thigh as he yawned and stretched lazily. Not daring to think, I snaked my hand around his girth and he froze, staring down at me with dark eyes. I licked my dry lips. “Once more?”

“You gorgeous hobbit.” Thorin grinned and collected me to his chest, kissing my lips. “Of course.”

“I know we must be quick.”

“They can wait, _ghivashel_.” Thorin dropped his hand to my mound and played with my curls as he kissed me again, one finger rubbing my small nub until I was ready for him. He was gentle as he pushed into me, but I had enjoyed his abandon at the end last night and grabbed two handfuls of the dwarf’s long hair and growled at him in my turn that I wanted his strength. He answered me with action, and I reached my peak twice before he groaned and jerked back from me, his seed staining the sheets below us as I panted and watched in fascination as one of his hands cradled his sac and the other caressed his length, his eyes closed and his face relaxed. It was a vulnerable position and that he trusted me to watch made my heart race. I scooted back slowly, but my movement snapped his eyes to me. Thorin’s lips quirked into a half smile as his eyes seemed to drink in my naked form lit by the rising sun. “I have never felt this good afterwards, my Bella. You undo me with your beauty.”

“You are a generous lover.” The word I chose seemed to please him as he leaned back against the footboard and continued to gaze at me, his eyes soft. “I no longer fear to make our final journey to the Mountain.”

“Then I am glad. Come. Let me bathe you this morning to complete the ritual and we will eat one more civilized meal before we revert to _cram_ and foraging.” He dressed in his clothes from last night and helped me into my tunic. I carried his clean clothing as we went to my room and he chose some sturdy garb for me, but as he plucked some of my new small clothes and bindings from my pack his grin made me flush again. “You have such delicious curves. I hate that these hide them from me.”

“Delicious?” I could feel my ears burning and he chuckled as we made our way to the bathing chamber.

“We dwarves don’t exhibit as much gender disparity as other races. I find your body fascinating. The way you curve in at your waist, how short your waist is compared to how long your legs are…it’s just intriguing.” Thorin held out his hand for me and I took it carefully.

“I like how different you are too. Your arms especially. You let me use your bicep as a pillow that night in the dungeons and I’ve never slept so well.”

“That night was terrible for me.” Thorin pushed the door open and locked it after I slipped by him. “You were so cold and you were putting a great deal of trust in me. I was terrified if I breathed wrong I would scare you, but you were sweet. You know you held onto one of my braids all night?” He planted a kiss on my cheek as he kicked off his boots, dragging his nose along my skin with a low growl.

“What?” I paused as I undid my laces. “I did?”

“It seemed to help you. I wasn’t complaining. It reminded me of Kíli when he was young.” Thorin finished undressing and filled the tub with hot water from the odd contraption that reminded me of a strange forge, rummaging among the oils and soaps provided, choosing a few as I stripped myself. Thorin eased himself into the steaming tub with a wince, but he and I both knew this could be our last hot bath and I followed him eagerly. His hand steadied my descent and once the water covered me I felt oddly hidden. Thorin leaned back and his eyes hooded as the steam rose between us. “How do you feel?”

“Better. Knowing… _understanding_ , finally, what it was supposed to be like. Having other memories to counteract the pain helps. It’s never going to leave me but I’m not as afraid as I was.”

“Good. I was hoping that would be your reaction.”

“And you?” I dipped my hair back into the water, closing my eyes. Thorin shifted, silent until I emerged and looked over at him.

“It was one of the best nights of my life.” I nearly slipped off the small bench into the deeper water. Thorin kept his eyes on me. “You were incredible. You trusted me with your body and soul and I can only hope you felt the pleasure I did.”

“I think I might have.” I finally found my voice and my courage as I pushed myself across the tub to him. He caught me easily and brushed my wet hair from my face, the half smile on his lips turning into a full grin as I reached up my hand to touch his face. “I can’t believe this is real.”

“Me either. Now, turn around. Let me wash your hair and tell you more about the interior of Erebor. I think I know where the tunnel will emerge, but we’ll see.” We spoke comfortably, as if we were old friends and we hadn’t been tangled in the other’s arms less than an hour ago. When the water began to cool and Thorin was satisfied that I was clean and happy, he helped me dry off and dressed me. Once I was clothed he bent his head to my hand and kissed the palm, breathing in my scent. “From here on out, we will be in dangerous country. And as much as I will want you again, none of us can seek comfort with the others. But if you are afraid at night, or need counsel, I will always be there for you, my Bella.”

“Thank you, Thorin.” As he opened the door, I caught his musky earth smell again and almost wished he had said something different, but Dwalin’s smug grin appeared around the corner and I fled for my room as Thorin growled something in their tongue; Dwalin’s dirty laugh told me everyone had heard what their King and burglar had been up to the night before.

 

I was treated to some teasing glances during breakfast, and Thorin to a few jabs in Khuzdul he shrugged off, but as we stepped on the boat with our supplies and ponies, the jovial mood quickly faded. I stood with Balin near the mast and watched the desolate shore approach. I heard no birds and I could feel, even from the shore, that this was soil that lay dormant. It was disquieting and I shivered. Balin nodded without taking his eyes from the Mountain. “Once it was green. Not like your home. But living.”

“It merely slumbers. It could support life again, if given the proper encouragement.” I gripped the worn wood of the hull, breathing deeply. “I will show you, I hope.” Balin patted my hand gently as the sailors drew up to the bank and they were quick to unload our gear and ponies and leave us, silent and wary. Thorin looked over the Company, making sure we were doing what needed to be done, his hand on the sword he had acquired. I was glad I still had Sting as I handed Dwalin bundles to load the two pack ponies with and hoped there might be better weapons I could steal away from Smaug before we tried to kill him. Dwalin had a large wood-chopping axe strapped to his back and his scowl told everyone what he thought of the inelegant weapon. Thorin waved me to his side as we begin riding over the steep hills and glanced down at me.

“Ride with me a while?” I nearly lost my seat.

“Nothing to impart, no warnings or scolding?”

“I think we’re beyond that.” Thorin’s eyes were kind as he looked at me again. “No, you are my burglar and good company while we ride through the Desolation. All the others will want to speak of is what lies ahead or memories of what used to be. And I have enough of those thoughts in my mind already.”

“Not sure what I can tell you.”

“Tell me of your cousins that you left your home to. They must have been interesting hobbits themselves.”

“Primula is a Brandybuck, and Drogo a Baggins. They often came over to visit me when they were young, and once they were courting I was considered a suitable chaperone so they spent long afternoons with me, talking about the elves.” Thorin rolled his eyes and I chuckled. “I will tell them of the Dwarves and when they have children they will want to visit us.”

“I look forward to meeting them, then. Hobbits can be surprisingly charming when they wish to be.”

 “Charming? I seem to recall tripping over myself and insulting you all left and right before I learned better.”

“You did better than I. I was so upset that no more than twelve would follow me after all the time I had labored to make the Blue Mountains safe for my people, and the rest of the Longbeards said it was my quest alone. That a hobbit lass would follow me when my own people would not made me angry, and I am afraid I took some of it out on you.” Thorin looked up at the bulk of Erebor and sighed.

“I was fairly useless for a time, though, and put you and the others in danger.” I smiled up at him. “We both learned our lessons.”

“For which I am eternally grateful.” He put a hand over his heart and I felt the smile slipping from my lips before I forced it to return, unable to believe he felt so deeply for me. To distract us both, I chattered on about Shire customs and told him of the Fell Winter, how wolves had invaded and the Rangers had helped us. He seemed surprised at that, and I realized he must have encountered the Rangers himself. We spoke of them for a time, neither of us knowing much beyond they were endless wanderers who had an ill-defined mission to protect.

When we made camp that night, I lay my bedroll against one of the boulders that made a rough wall around us and stared up at the stars. This was the first chance since Beorn’s I had had a chance to really study them and it chilled me how different the sky looked than it did in the Shire. I traced the rough mental map I had of the world and was stunned at how much of it I had covered. Since our Mother had revealed the Shire to us so long ago, no hobbit on record had ever been so far from home.

Thorin sat by me and handed me a small bowl of stew without saying anything, just titled his head back and looked where I was. “I have missed this sky. I used to spend the summers outside with my brother. We would hunt and avoid any responsibility. Because there would always be time later.” He snorted softly, glancing over at me, but his blue eyes were unfocused. “I was so spoilt.”

“I can’t believe that.” His eyes snapped back to reality and our King shook his head.

“Do you know how old I am, my Bella?”

“No. I thought it would be rude to ask.”

“I was twenty four when the dragon came. Just old enough to start training, young enough to resent it. I’m one hundred and ninety five now. It took many years for the pampered heir to learn how to lead.”

“That’s…you…you’ve been in exile for one hundred and seventy years?” The bowl slipped in my fingers and I hastily caught it, not wanting to waste food. Thorin nodded, eating his stew calmly. I glanced around at the Company but they were ignoring us, most tending to their shoddy weapons with a twist to their mouths. “Do you know how old I am, Thorin?”

“Younger than Kíli, but hobbits are not as long lived as we.” Thorin shrugged.

“I’m fifty. Actually…no, fifty-one. Missed my birthday in Mirkwood.” He raised his eyebrow at that, but didn’t seem perturbed that I was more than twenty years younger than his nephew, and that he was nearly four times my age.

“You would be considered a young adult by the dwarves, but certainly beyond your majority. Does the difference bother you?”

“No.” I finished my stew and reached out my hand for his. “You don’t look your age, is all.”

“Neither do you, _ghivashel_.” Thorin pressed my fingers to his dry lips, his eyes dark now. I cursed Smaug for making Thorin cautious, for all I wished for in that moment was his arms around me. He carefully lowered my hand and ran his finger down my cheek. “So smooth. It’s the lack of beard that makes you seem young to us.” He carefully avoided my ear, but he tangled his fingers in the ends of my curls for a moment before drawing back, the lover assuming the guise of king in an instant. “You should sleep, my Bella. Tomorrow we have many miles to cross.” I obeyed, crawling into my bedroll and tried to put myself to sleep, but the stars were too bright and too alien and for the first time since we had entered the Wilds I missed the Shire. Suddenly I heard Thorin’s low voice behind me, and I knew he was protecting me still when he asked if he could lie beside me and hold me. I rolled over and pressed myself into his chest, thanking him before I fell asleep.

 

The next morning we reached the roots of Erebor and I helped prepare the base camp, listening to the distant roar of the River and wishing I hadn’t seen the smoke escaping with the spray. When we were ready, we began the long climb up long disused paths, the air turning cold and thin as we thought of ways to discover a door made to be invisible. I gritted my teeth as I pulled myself around a jagged boulder blocking our way, glancing up the slope as Fíli peered down at us and called something. “What did he say, Bofur?”

“He found something strange.”

“Thank the Mother.” As always, Fíli’s enthusiasm infected us all and we made it to his side after a few mad moments of scrambling, Bofur helping me up the last few feet and allowing me to lean against him for a moment as I recovered my breath. Thorin glanced over and nodded to us both before surveying the shelf where we stood.

“This is not natural.”

“It looks like a large doorstep.” I turned and stared at the dead expanse around our home and felt my heart go cold. What manner of beast could do such a thing to so much land? Before I could give into my fear Thorin was at my side, his large hand on my back.

“It does, at that. I think we’ve found it. Good work, sister son.” Thorin guided me away from the lip and sat me against the Mountain, his eyes dark with concern, but he said nothing as our camp was set up and we prepared to wait for Durin’s Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ghivashel - beloved


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A thrush knocks, a door opens, and Bella faces a dragon.

When the thrush had shown me the secret and I beheld the keyhole, the sense of accomplishment that flooded through me lifted my heart enough that I threw my arms around my King and kissed him thoroughly as we stood in the open doorway, not minding that the entire Company was watching and commenting. He laughed and set me down, staring down the dark tunnel. “You solved another riddle, _ghivashel_. Would you like company for part of the way?”

“No. We do not know his abilities, and my ring only works for one.” I took a deep breath and squeezed Thorin’s hand, and met the eyes of my dwarves, nodding to each of them in turn. I drew Sting, squared my shoulders, and slipped my ring on before stepping into darkness. Soon I was going by touch alone, but the steps were even and smooth and I admired the craftsmanship as I descended. It took a long time, but then there was a red glow in front of my and I sped my pace. And beheld Smaug. A scream strangled my throat and I crouched unmoving for long minutes before creeping out in the ruins of Erebor.

The usurper had torn down sections of walls and created a huge space to store his stolen treasures. There were hills and valleys of gold and he sat in the middle of it all, sleeping. I hoped. His belly was exposed to me, and the sight of the hole over his breast was enough to bring a quick smile to my face. Staying close to the wall, I saw a beautiful battle-axe that reminded me of the one Thorin had lost to Thranduil and grabbed it without thinking. Smaug stirred and I fled, my heart in my ears. When I reached the top, shaking and drenched in sweat, my dwarves were astonished at my description. Thorin clenched his jaw to hold in his anger, but he cradled the axe I had pushed to him, and finally he took a deep breath and took my hand. “You did well. So he lives, but our gold is waiting and once he is gone it will help rebuild what he destroyed. And I thank you for the axe of my grandmother.” He hefted it with a small smile. “It is in good condition as well, which gives me hope for the rest of our armory, scattered as it may be.” And then the Mountain shook.

 

Our ponies were gone, our stores cut in half, but the worm had not found us. I huddled in Thorin’s arms, cursing myself until he pressed his hand into my shoulder. “I would have grabbed something too and probably less practical than a weapon. I can’t believe he knows each piece of the hoard! Even my grandfather,” and Thorin’s voice became a low growl, “couldn’t do that at the height of his madness. So do not blame yourself.”

“But I’m supposed to be your burglar, Thorin. I should have been planning for this moment.”

“When?” He drew me closer. “When you were saving my life or trying to free us from the dungeons? This has always been the part of our journey where my plans stopped, because I had no idea what we would find. Now we will plan. And you will help.” I stopped arguing with him and we all fell into an uneasy sleep until morning. And after we had crept outside and debated for a time, I stood and announced I would go inside tomorrow, because we were chasing our tails like dogs and not acting as proper thinking beings. Which won me no few glares and a startled chuckle from Thorin, and we lay out in the cold air, enjoying what was left of the sunlight until it was time to eat and tend to the other little chores that made life on the road bearable.

Bombur concocted a thin soup to soak our cram in and by the time night fell I had recovered from my fright. I told them of the hole in Smaug’s armor, which cheered them greatly, though we had no idea how to make use of such information. I noticed a raven was watching us and tossed him a large crumb, drawing the dwarves’ attention to our visitor. Thorin inclined his head gravely, and I nearly fell over when the bird returned the gesture.

“Ah, you would not know of our messenger ravens. They were our faithful servants and I have missed their company.” The raven flew away and Thorin sighed. I glanced up at him, admiring how the firelight shone on his face and hair. He looked down at me and to my shock winked before turning to Balin to discuss the state of the Mountain. I leaned against one of the rocks, feeling a trace of the longing I knew rested in my lover’s heart.

This was our home, despite the fact we squatted on the outside and the worm still ruled below. I had seen the spoiled grandeur and knew why Thorin stood with such pride. I joined in the conversation around the fire, telling them more details, when Kíli wondered out loud if I was going to stay, and I was unable to answer him as Thorin spoke up and explained what I had done. After a stunned moment, they all welcomed me to my new home, promising to give me the finest rooms and make me a smial to my liking with a garden terrace, ignoring the small grin on their King’s face. He did agree to giving me a garden. With a special bed for lavender.

 

As I prepared to sleep, Thorin watched me struggling with my hair and waved me over to him, digging in his pack. He pulled out a steel comb, looking down at it with a sneer as I sat by him. “This is shoddy work, but it is better than fingers.” I heard a snicker that became a cough from the others and distinctly heard someone get smacked before they all pretended the view was engrossing. Confused, I glanced up at Thorin, but he was reaching into his own hair for two beads that I hadn’t noticed; the braids they had held tangled in his long mane. He held them in his hands for a moment then looked at me. “I can fix your hair so it will stay out of your eyes. Would you let me use these?”

“Of course.” The smile he gave me was gentle and strange, but he turned to my hair and in time untangled it, patient even when I whined once or twice. His fingers ran through the mass once it was smooth and I heard him humming softly. He gathered hair at my temples and began to braid backwards, joining the two ropes together behind my head and using the bead as a clasp. Then he did something else that I couldn’t quite feel, until the other bead hit my back softly. I reached around to feel what he had done but he caught my hand in his gently.

“Leave it be for now.”

“Thank you. This will help.” Thorin nodded and put the comb away, and I swore I heard another snicker but I couldn’t be sure as I went back to my small bedroll and lay down, pulling the heavy fabric up around my shoulders and lying on my side to keep my new braids from fraying.

 

And it was Thorin who walked with me until he could just barely see the outline of the door and sat, his lingering kiss on my lips a sweet reminder of why I was entering the lair of a dragon for the second time. I resolved to speak in riddles, but Smaug was clever, using baiting words to try and get a rise from me. He thought we were there simply to steal, not take back our home, and taunted me with thoughts of how I would take such treasure across the wilds, and of the fickle nature of dwarves. I simply laughed and said I had no interest in gold, which seemed to utterly confuse the dragon. He asked what I did love and I hesitated, but his voice became a crooning song and I felt myself falling under his spell. “I love the treasures of the earth. Growing things. Things that are impermanent and that would have no interest to you, great Smaug.”

“You sound like an elf.”

“No I don’t. If you think so then you have never met one, O Smaug, and I can’t believe in your long life you never encountered a single Elder Child.” He snorted.

“Then why are you here?”

“Because I am ever curious. It is the great curse of my blood, to seek adventure wherever I can find it.” He continued to probe, and then suddenly his eyes were on me and I realized I had been standing still too long. Scared, I panicked and I taunted him about the ponies, enraging him, but giving myself an opening to run. His flames followed me up the stairs and lapped at my feet before dying away, and I collapsed in a boneless heap in the tunnel, weeping. “Bella, you fool! Never laugh at live dragons!” I heard Smaug roaring and terror lent my feet speed as I ran towards my dwarves, my heart in my throat. They had heard Smaug’s anger and I nearly ran over Thorin, who was coming down the stairs with his axe in hand, his face worried. When he saw me he gasped in relief and his hands were on me in moments, pulling me to his chest and rocking me back and forth.

“My Bella. Darling. Are you injured?”

“Just singed.” I let out a shuddering sigh. “I am a fool. Trying to bandy words with a clever worm!”

“You are a brave warrior.” Thorin stepped back to look me over, his hands still around my waist. “What did he say?”

“Several things. He knows I am not alone here. He doesn’t know my scent and it intrigues him.” Thorin’s face locked into a scowl. I sighed. “He did not mention lavender.” Thorin laughed grudgingly, bending over to kiss me. “You know, I asked Ori if he could smell lavender on me and he couldn’t.”

“He sniffed you?” Thorin grumbled as I giggled.

“In the most brotherly way possible.” My King drew me close and buried his nose in my hair for a long moment, and when his nose brushed my ear I groaned in desire. Thorin loosened his hold on me, but did not let go.

“It’s all I can smell on you unless you’ve been smoking. It’s intoxicating. And I am glad to know it is mine alone.” I started to shake and he gathered me close, lifting me despite my protests and carrying me to the camp. I was greeted with relief, the dwarves fussing over me and making sure the slightly red skin on my feet was covered in a soothing ointment.

We soon discovered the price for my escape. As I sat against Fíli, watching Bombur cook, the Mountain rumbled and I heard Smaug bellowing challenges at me. I froze, terrified, but Thorin acted with all haste, snatching me to his chest and ordering the others to gather our supplies and go into the tunnel once more. He wedged a rock to hold the door and crouched further down the tunnel, still holding me as I shook. “What have I done?”

“I don’t know.” Hidden in darkness as we were, I felt safe leaning my head into Thorin’s neck and ghosting a kiss on his jaw, breathing in his scent to calm my heart. His hands tightened on me and he buried his nose in my hair for a long moment before jerking backwards. “My apologizes.”

“You don’t have to ask permission. I trust you.”

“Shh.” We heard Smaug fly by, still bellowing in his anger. Suddenly the light from the door disappeared and we were thrown to the ground by the violence of Smaug’s destruction of our campsite and our only safe escape route. I pressed my face into Thorin’s chest and tried not to weep as he held me until the shaking stopped. Glóin was able to light a torch that still sat in a sconce and we huddled together through the night, unable to sleep. We heard no noise that would indicate Smaug’s return, and I finally gathered my courage and agreed to go down to see if I could find a safe path out of the Mountain for everyone else. As we walked down the steps, I led the way and stopped the Company at the edge of the hoard, peering around carefully.

 

Smaug was gone. As I stood at the edge of the great cavern with my small torch, breathing deeply, I was afraid this was a trap. But I would take the risk for my dwarves. They waited behind me and I knew they would do their best to save me if something went wrong, but I had to take the first step with my eyes closed. As I climbed the hoard, going farther than I had before, I saw something glittering in front of me and bent to pick it up, knowing exactly what I held. When I put it into Thorin’s hands, he would know I was true when I had taken the oath to him as my King. Suddenly the treasure shifted beneath me, and I lost my torch as I tumbled down a huge pile of gold and armor, landing at the bottom with all the breath from my body gone. Moaning, I tried to move, but had to lie still gasping for long minutes before I heard Thorin’s panicked voice searching for me. By the time my voice returned, he was close enough for me to see the dim glow from his light and I croaked his name. I held the Arkenstone in my hands and when he saw me there, holding the glittering gem out towards him, I knew the tears in his eyes were for us both.

 

“But you found it.”

“I don’t want it! I want it back on your throne so that the might of Erebor is made known to all who enter its halls. As you proclaimed only last night.” Thorin laughed as I glared up at him, my arms crossed.

“As you wish, my Queen.”

“Excuse you?” I had never been more grateful for privacy. Once Thorin had been sure I was all right and I had truly pressed the heirloom of his house into his hands, he had ordered the rest of the Company to the Gate to secure it, and dragged me off into a smaller chamber that was filled with dust and moldered furniture.

“Exactly what I said, my Queen.” Thorin smiled down at me, but there was a possessive light in his eyes I had never seen before. “You will sit on the throne next to me, the light of the Arkenstone and your beauty together. And the treasures of my realm will strike awe into even the most jaded soul.”

“Aren’t there a few things you need to be asking me first?” I renewed my glare up at him to hide my fear at his tone. “Such as a proposal?”

“I did.”

“You _what_?”

“You accepted my beads in your braids.” Now Thorin looked somewhat contrite, even if his towering stance never shifted. “You are my betrothed.” The realization of what he had done and the muffled laughter hit me hard and I felt my scowl deepen.

“Now hold on a moment! You just assumed I would know what that meant? Hobbits don’t have the same traditions as the dwarves!”

“But…our creators. We share so much.” He glared down past me and my breath caught in my throat as he stepped forward and grabbed my upper arm in his hand. “What are you saying? That you will leave me?”

“Thorin.” I tried to catch my breath, my body shaking. But I didn’t try and pull away, knowing it was useless. “Please.” He stepped closer, I swung my hand around to press the palm of my hand to the center of his chest, and he froze. He let go of my arm, stumbling back from me, his face full of horror.

“ _Ghivashel_. What did I do?”

“Nothing, Thorin. You stopped.” He shook his head and fell against the wall, turning his face from me. His muffled voice shook and I pressed my hands to my stomach, unsure of what to do.

“I had hoped…I thought my love for you would stop me from this. I am cursed, Bella. You should leave me.”

“You are not cursed. What are you talking about?” I stepped closer and he threw up his hand, pleading with me.

“Even now I feel it. I want to possess you. Lock these doors and keep you as mine. Just as the gold is mine, this Mountain is mine.” His face twisted for a moment and I gritted my teeth, but he took a deep breath and relaxed. “I’m sorry, my Bella. If you wish to throw my beads back in my face it would be the least I deserve.”

“Thorin. Look at me.” He raised his eyes to mine, his features crumpled in sorrow, wincing as I knelt on the dusty ground and put a careful hand on his knee. “You stopped. I’m fine. Shaken, yes. Unsure of what you’re talking about. But you have only proven I can trust you, because you stopped. Now please. Talk to me.” Thorin leaned back from me and slumped against the wall, telling me in clipped sentences how his grandfather and father had become fixated on the wealth of Erebor and the Arkenstone.

“When I saw you holding it, offering it freely, I could only see the two things I desired most and knew I had to keep you both safe. I was going to hang it from your neck and keep you in my rooms. I could see it so clearly, wanted it badly enough to drag you in here. And then you refused it. And denied that you had understood my proposal.” Thorin ran a hand down his face and groaned. “What did I do?”

“You just grabbed my arm.” He flinched back from me and took a deep breath.

“My Bella. I don’t want to lose you. Tell me how your people court and I will follow it to the letter, do whatever you demand of me.”

“Our Mother gave us simple tastes, Thorin. We court under the gaze of our families, we give each other flowers, and then a wreath is woven and given to the woman. If she accepts, it is her bridal wreath and she wears it on her head to the wedding.” I tried not to show how hard it was to talk of the process I had watched my cousins repeat while knowing I would never get the chance myself, but Thorin seemed to understand as he held my gaze.

“I have no flowers for you yet. Unless you would accept a wreath of gems.” I leaned forward and put my hand on his knee, feeling a smile break through my worry. All trace of the possessive king had disappeared and only the dwarf I trusted remained.

“Now that sounds like an appropriate compromise for a dwarf courting a hobbit.” He blinked and then laughed softly, reaching out his hand for mine but letting me close the final gap to entwine our fingers. He help me to my feet and led me out of the room. When we emerged, we found Balin waiting for us, his hands clasped behind his back and his eyes worried.

“Bella, are you well?”

“I am fine, Balin. Thorin was explaining he had proposed without my knowledge.” Balin covered his surprise well and glanced over at his king.

“I see.”

“I am fine, old friend. I think she will protect me against the gold madness from now on. Is the throne intact?”

“Mostly.”

“Then please go put this where it belongs, by the grace of my betrothed.” Balin took the Arkenstone and bowed, but his smile embraced us both as he left. Thorin glanced around at the destruction and I felt his hand spasm on mine before he led me to the Front Gate and the rest of the Company.

 

We found them in conference with an old raven and we heard the news of Smaug’s defeat with more joy than I had ever felt. But the other news was not so good, and we resolved to defend ourselves before others could try and claim our home for themselves. While I felt trust for Bard, Thranduil’s name inspired nothing but terror and we all agreed having a wall between us and the elves was a necessity. While the dwarves labored on the wall and I gave what help I could, mostly climbing where their sturdier bodies could not go to tell them what I could see, Thorin picked among the hoard and found enough gems and materials to make me a wreath to his liking. Fíli and Kíli started to call me Auntie and Dori, ever proper, began to bow to me until I begged him to stop.

At the end of the second day of Smaug’s departure, Thorin appeared with the most beautiful thing I had ever seen clasped in his hands, shining in the rays of the setting sun. His nod of thanks to the Company for their work on the wall was deep, but his eyes never left me as he came closer and presented his courting wreath. The gold wires made delicate leaves and stems to hold carefully faceted gems of all colors. Tears filled my eyes as I reached out my hands for it, and I heard Thorin’s sigh of relief under the cheers of the assembled Company. “It’s beautiful, Thorin. I look forward to wearing it for you soon.”

“It will be your crown.” He smiled, touching one of the amethyst crystals gently. He had given it small facets and I realized he had created lavender for me. I laughed as my hands trembled. “You will be our own gentle queen and bring your green and growing treasures to add to our own.” He went on to promise the entire Company they would see their home rise in glory unmatched in the world and none would dare set themselves against us again. And as we stood there in the golden light, we believed him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the Company waits to see what the Men and Elves plan, Thorin begins a proper courtship for his Queen, only to find she has her own ideas of what that entails.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You lovely people! I can barely comprehend the response so far and I've been writing feverishly. In the meantime, while we await battle, enjoy some Thorin and Bella alone time. *nudge nudge wink wink say no more*

When the large parties of men and elves, led by Bard and Thranduil, approached the Front Gate I stood by my betrothed, my heart hammering in my ears, as the demands of both leaders were presented. Thorin shook with rage but I clasped his hand in mine and squeezed. I pitched my voice for his ears alone, my mind racing. This political play was the strongest reminder I had had of home in months and I knew how to play from a position of weakness. “Remember Dain is coming. Stall them, but I think you should treat with Bard at least. We could easily give him a small fraction of the hoard and he needn’t ever know how much we hold back.” Thorin glared down at me, but his eyes softened as he took a deep breath.

“Is that your advice, my Queen?”

“It is. Thranduil better return what he stole from us before he can throw words like _payment_ around. He’s as bad as the Sackville-Baggins.” Thorin smirked and turned back to our uninvited guests, his face cold and proud.

“We will consider your proposal, Bard. Well we remember our allies of Dale and the help you gave us in our time of need. But the Elvin King ought recall who he held in his cells and return what was stolen before he dare show his face again.” The two leaders glanced at each other, clearly surprised at Thorin’s hauteur. They had only remembered the King in Exile; now they saw the King under the Mountain, foremost among the Dwarves and Durin’s Heir. My heart swelled in pride as they bowed and retreated. Thorin sighed. “To simply give them gold irks me.” Recalling his fears, I put my hand on his heart and felt the tension bleed from his body as he leaned into me for a moment.

“It will return to you in time. Once the mines are reopened we will have raw material again and Dale will need our forges.” Balin spoke up from the other side of Thorin, nodding to me in respect. “Your betrothed is correct about them not knowing our true wealth. I will start with Nori and Dori on separating out the work of Dale from our own.”

“Hah.” Thorin snorted as we turned from our fortifications, leaving Dwalin, Glóin and Ori to keep watch. “They think to siege, but Dain will bring supplies with him, enough to keep us from starving at least while we treat with the Men.”

“And the Elves?”

“Bella’s demand is a clever one. He will have to return to his kingdom to retrieve our things and that gives us time to deal with Bard alone.” I smirked in my turn.

“In the Shire, though we avoid bloodshed, family politics can get convoluted. My grandfather the Thain let me listen in on councils sometime.”

“Hmm. I had not thought of that.” Thorin kissed my hand gently. “Your grandfather was a ruler?”

“Of a sort. Not as formal as a king, for sure.”

“That is good to know. Would you be considered nobility in the Shire?”

“Well…” I hesitated. “Yes. I suppose so. We really don’t think that way, though.”

“Never the less. I should have realized.” I just shook my head, unable to speak as we entered Erebor proper. The cleaning had been put on hold after we had removed the dead, so the huge space Smaug had made of the public rooms still reeked of dragon and smoke and glittered under the strange lights the dwarves had lit in the few remaining sconces and lamps. I still didn’t understand how rock could burn, but found the light they gave to be superior to the torches. Thorin kept his hand on my arm, speaking to Balin, who surveyed his old home with obvious detachment, his voice even. I understood; we had no time for grieving and Balin had lost more than anyone during Smaug’s attack.

“We’ll need chests.”

“There are some in the hoard. Steel, mostly. I very much enjoy the thought of simply giving them the inferior work of Men.” Thorin looked down at me again. “How much do you think Bard knows of our wealth?”

“I am sure the stories are exaggerated.” I shrugged helplessly, not understanding his bent of questioning. “You could say much was damaged? It will have to appear substantial, at least to the eyes of Men.”

“And he killed the dragon.” Balin reminded Thorin gently. “We may have come up with our own plan eventually, but he did us a great favor and avenged our dead.”

“Wergild.” Thorin sighed, his shoulders suddenly slumping at the memory of how his home had been lost. “They think us greedy, Balin.”

“They simply don’t understand how we love, Thorin.”

“Aye.” Thorin reached out for me, his hand tightening on my shoulder. “Bella could have died if she had visited him one more time.”

“True. We all could have died.” Thorin nodded at Balin’s calm words and drew me closer. He pressed a kiss to my temple and took a deep breath.

“Very well. Find containers and chests first. We will fill them and remember those we have lost, for their lives were worth much.” We bowed at the words of our King and set to work while he disappeared, heading for the upper floors.

 

When he returned he seemed to have shaken off his lingering possessiveness for the gold and presented me with a comb of mithril, the handle set with sapphires showing the waxing and waning of the moon. I clutched the beautiful gift to my heart, realizing I might be holding the money that had built Bag End, the Great Smials and Brandybuck Hall, and tried to speak. “It’s…spectacular. But how can I use it on my hair? It’s prettier than any jewelry I’ve ever seen!” Thorin smirked as the dwarves laughed.

“It’s a courting gift. And if you don’t want to use it on your hair you could always use it on mine.” I thought Dwalin was going to die from chocking on his water, and from the growl he shot his king, and the embarrassed looks on Fíli and Kíli’s faces, I finally realized all the innocent comments about my hair had been flirtatious and Thorin’s last statement had been rather ribald. I twirled the comb in my fingers and looked up at my betrothed.

“If you think you can handle it, my King.” The grin he shot me was magical, curling my toes, and Kíli’s small scream and departure for a very long watch at the Gate let the others helpless in their laughter as Thorin dragged me away, snatching a small lantern as we left, ignoring the protests from Balin. My king pushed me up the stairs that took us to a passageway that overlooked the huge lair, and we fell into a pile of gold coins, his mouth greedy for mine as his hands clung to my shoulders. I tilted my head back as his mouth descended to my neck, his hot breath scorching me as my hands twined in his hair and my body arched up into him. “Thorin.”

“Bella.” He moaned and seemed to shudder as our eyes met. “I would throw away the customs of both our people for a night in your arms once more, but…”

“Hush.” I put my hand over his mouth. “I care _nothing_ for the customs of my people anymore, and I don’t know yours as well as I should. So don’t tell me yet. Even a few moments with you would be a greater gift than anything else in this Mountain.” Thorin grinned slowly, his hand covering mine as I removed it from his warm lips. “And a night with you, knowing the dangers we will soon face from the Men and Elves, would be sweet.”

“It would be.” Thorin leaned back and ran a finger down my cheek, but then he sighed. “I should not.”

“Should not?” I sniffed as I leaned back and deliberately ran the comb through my hair and Thorin groaned. “Come now. You’ve proposed yourself as my husband. Surely a night of kissing me will not offend your people.” I watched his nose flare as his jaw clenched, his eyes never leaving the sight of the gorgeous comb running through my curls. Finally he growled and snatched it from my fingers, snaking his hand behind my neck and pulling me into a kiss that had my mind reeling. He pushed me back onto the gold until a bejeweled goblet dug into my back and I hissed in surprise.

Thorin understood and peeled off his borrowed coat, placing it on the cold floor. Compared to some of our sleeping arrangements, it was rather comfortable and he was gentle as he lay me down and began to take out my braids. I returned the favor, enjoying the simple intimacy of touching his hair, our noses nearly touching until our hair was unbound.

Thorin sat against the railing and pulled me to his chest, making me sit between his legs as he gently ran the comb through my curls, nearly purring as he hummed a song deep in his chest. I almost fell asleep as he finished, my head lolling against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me and buried his nose in my tresses. I was boneless and didn’t want to move, but the thought of combing Thorin’s hair was too tempting and I wiggled free of Thorin’s arms, taking the comb from him as he looked up at me in surprise.

I had to stand behind him to reach his hair, but as I started timidly running the comb down his head, he shivered and leaned into my caresses. I grew bolder and used my fingers and the comb in junction, boldly letting my hand brush against his ear and biting my lip as I flushed. Thorin chuckled and reached his hand back to squeeze my ankle. “That doesn’t really affect me like it does you.” I pouted and tugged on the ends of his hair gently and heard the intake of breath that I had been after. “Vixen.”

“Hardly.” I snorted. Thorin laughed outright, the sound echoing around the Mountain. He twisted and pulled me into deep kiss, his hands deliberately running along the edges of my ears and eliciting a whimper as I struggled to remain upright and lost the battle as I fell into his lap. White teeth flashed down at me as I squawked in indignation, lips quickly silencing my protests into inarticulate murmurs. Before I could gather my thoughts, Thorin’s warm body was under me, keeping me from the cold floor as his hands held me close. Our kisses grew deeper and I felt my body’s arousal growing by the moment, until I could take it no longer and broke the kiss with a gasp, staring into Thorin’s eyes. “Thorin, please. You’re pushing me over the edge.” He gritted his teeth.

“I cannot lie with you now. But…” He swallowed hard, his eyes flickering between my eyes and my chest. “Come here.” He pulled me forward suddenly, until I was kneeling over his face and his rough fingers were pulling at my small clothes under the tunic I had changed into, undoing the side laces easily. He pushed the wool up over my hips and pulled me down, his greedy lips fastening to what he called my pearl. I threw my head back with a muted wail, barely covering my mouth with my hand as he ruthlessly sucked and licked, occasionally thrusting his wicked tongue into my depths as I shook and tried to maintain my balance.

I gripped his hair in one hand, the other scrabbling for purchase on his chest as my world went white and I shook with the power of the orgasm he wrung from me. He let me go when I whimpered, holding me steady and laughing quietly as he kissed my inner thighs, scraping me with his beard and teeth until I was capable of coherent thought. “My sweet Bella.” I stared down at him, my breath hitching in my throat as he wiped a hand across his mouth, his wicked tongue licking at his lips.

“I would repay my pleasure with yours.” His entire body stiffened as I wiggled backwards and he heaved to his elbows to watch me fumble with the laces to his breeches.

“Bella, you…” Thorin groaned as I released his cock from his confining layers and I heard his hands scratch along the floor as I bent my head to drag my lips over the nearly purple head of his erection, being careful of the piercing. “Mahal preserve me.” I glanced up at him as I took him in deeper and he began to say something in Khuzdul, his face turned up the ceiling as he panted for breath. I mimicked his motions back in Lake Town, cradling his heavy sac and stroking his shaft with my tongue. Thorin’s hips bucked involuntarily and he unleashed another string of curses as I sped up, flicking his piercing with my tongue once before taking him into my mouth again, and suddenly he gasped and growled a warning as he reached his own orgasm. I sat back gasping and swallowed as Thorin collapsed and panted, our eyes meeting in the light from our lantern. I wiped my mouth and grinned up at him as he sat up, reaching his hands out for me. “Mahal’s hammer, girl.”

“Did I do it right?” Thorin burst into laughter, his shoulders shaking and his head fell into my neck as he hugged me close.

“My Bella. More than right.” He kissed me hard and brushed my hair back from my face. “You are so sweet and perfect.”

“Don’t call me perfect.” I shuddered. “Please.”

“Why not?” Thorin’s eyebrows drew down as he lay back, pulling me with him as he held me in his arms.

“Because I was told so often that I wasn’t. That I never could be.” I closed my eyes and tucked my head under his chin, my hands clinging to his rough clothes. His big hands were soothing on my back and hair and he said nothing for long minutes.

“It will slip out again, _ghivashel_. Because you are to my eyes. And we will argue and I might find myself displeased by you, but you will never stop being my darling lass.”

“How can I be?”

“Because you are to me, and that’s all that matters.” I took in a deep breath.

“Leave the Shire behind. It’s a lot harder than it sounded when I stepped out my door.”

“The Shire is a part of you. But it doesn’t mean you have to be held back by them any longer.” I raised myself up so I could look at his face and he smiled up at me.

“I am perfect to you?”

“Always.” I pursed my lips and felt a smile break through my defenses.

“I won’t ever feel like it.”

“You don’t have to.” Thorin shrugged, touching our noses together gently. “Ready to learn some braids?” I finally laughed as we fixed the other’s hair and Thorin wove more jeweled hairpins into my betrothal braids while I marveled at his dexterity managing my unruly tresses. We stood and I perched on my tiptoes to kiss him and murmur my thanks while he held me close. When we returned, Balin glowered and pulled Thorin from me and I realized the advisor had taken on the role of my father as Thorin tried to defend his actions. I curled my fingers around the pretty comb and sat on my bedroll, readying myself for sleep, when Fíli sat nearby.

“My Uncle shouldn’t be pulling you away from the rest of us, Bella.”

“Bother that.” I slipped the comb into my pack and wrinkled my nose at the Prince. “We could die tomorrow, Fíli. I’ve been acting properly my entire life and I’m sick of it.”

“But he’s…” I held up my finger and patted his hand.

“He showed me that I am not worthless long before I asked him to my bed. You all did. And I know you have courting traditions and maybe one day we’ll get to follow them, but not now.” Fíli nodded. He was as perceptive as his uncle, easy to forget with his teasing manner, but in this moment he was a true prince.

“I’ve only seen him smile like that once, when Kíli was born. Mother says he smiled when I was too, but you’ve brought him more happiness than anyone could.” Fíli grinned at me suddenly as Balin sent Thorin away from us with a pointed glare, but my betrothed shot me a smile as he left and I bit my lip as I waved. Balin glanced at me, threw his hand up in the air, and went to his own bedroll.

“Thank you, Fíli. I’ll try and be better.”

“I highly doubt that, burglar. But I can’t grudge you a night of happiness after all you’ve done for us, and as you say, we may die tomorrow.” He lay back and I mimicked him, closing my eyes and trying to contain my laughter. It was to be the last restful night for some time.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The negotiations have begun, but can the three leaders reach an agreement?

We made our initial offering to Bard, who seemed overwhelmed at the heaping chests of gold and gems. Thorin did not lie when he said we had found every last container in the Mountain, and Bard had to take several deep breaths before nodding. “This will change the lives of our people. But what of the Elves?” We all fell silent.

“We will treat with them separately.” Thorin kept his voice calm. “We have dug deep for these things, wergild for our dead. You have done us a great service, Bard.”

“I will return with my reply tomorrow.” I felt a snarl on my face and saw it echoed on Thorin’s as the humans left us and the gold without a backwards glance. We dragged it back inside and Thorin began to swear and kick the chests, and I sensed the Company looking to me to approach the king. I glared at them all, squared my shoulders, and perched on the next chest Thorin was targeting. He froze when he saw me and when he saw what was in my hand, he growled.

“No. Out of the question.”

“We have to know what he’s thinking! Who he is with! Even if this would fit one of you, you are all too loud. I am small and can slip into his tent unseen.”

“No!” Thorin leapt forward before I could blink, grabbing my shoulders and staring into my eyes, his voice harsh with fear. “If something was to happen to you I would never forgive myself. I would cut my hair and my beard and wander North before I could earn a measure of forgiveness!” The muted gasps told me exactly how serious his words were, but I did not waver.

“We still must wait for Dain. We are running out of food. We cannot eat the gold! If I am to be your queen I will show you I do not rest on my previous successes. There is nothing I will not do for you and yours. If I am captured, pretend I mean nothing to you.”

“Never.”

“Mahal and Yavanna! Spare me from the stubbornness of dwarves!” I wiggled free of his hands and before Thorin could grab me again, slipped on the ring and ran. Thorin’s roar of panic hit me and my steps faltered, but I wove deeper into the Mountain as the dwarves rushed to the entrance to try and block my escape. It was not easy, but I managed to climb above them, inch by inch making my way outside. Getting into Bard’s camp was simple, his tent only slightly more difficult, but once inside I nearly tripped over a long staff propped up by a pointed grey hat and into the robes of Gandalf, who was watching Bard in silence. I froze and waited for long minutes until Gandalf shifted and I was able to squeeze by him and hide under the rickety desk in the corner of the tent, piled high with paperwork. And there we sat, until someone knocked at one of the tent poles and Bard looked up with poorly concealed relief.

“Enter.” And Thranduil appeared.

 

The argument had been going on for at least an hour. I kept shifting on my numb legs, cursing the blind courage of hobbits. Bard wanted to accept Thorin’s offer. Thranduil kept saying the hoard was bigger and the dwarves were cheating all of them, and while he was right I thought accusations of cheating were rich from an elf who had done nothing but watch as the dwarves were hurt, killed, and driven from their home. He had at least brought what had been taken, including Orcrist, the presence of which seemed to infuriate him. Suddenly Gandalf stood, and I could not believe the power of his words.

“Enough! This is pointless. Without a bargaining chip against the walls of Erebor your want for more is useless, Thranduil. Thorin has shown he is willing to negotiate and reward the Men of Dale. Why you think you deserve part of the treasure is beyond me. If you had won, Smaug would still be alive and my own plans ruined.” With that, Gandalf strode away and the two remaining males sank to their chairs. They agreed to return our stolen packs and weapons and then Thranduil would present his own claims. I slipped away, unwilling to wait any longer, and it seemed they would sleep soon. On my way back to camp, I stole a ham.

 

My reappearance caused Thorin to rush forward, checking me over for hurts as he scolded and kissed me in equal measure. I handed Bombur the jute sack with the food inside and he rushed away to carve it for us. We sat around a small fire, eating the stolen food and wondering about Thranduil’s motivations. I was at a loss to explain his desire for the gold; none of it had been his, and he had lost nothing to the dragon. Thorin’s only thought was revenge, but for what exactly he couldn’t say. I glanced over at Balin and Ori, who were having a whispered conference, and finally Ori stood.

“I think I might know why. I recall an old scroll about Tumunzahar and the dispute over payment for the necklace they fashioned for the Silmaril.”

“Ah.” Thorin nodded. “I recall that lesson. The Firebeards went to war with Doriath and destroyed it. Would Thranduil have been there?”

“Perhaps, or maybe his kin?” Ori shrugged. “It’s the only thing I could think of.”

“Good work, Ori.” Ori puffed up at the praise from his king and I smiled at him, pleased that he was speaking out more. We spent the rest of the night finding armor, and when Thorin put me in a coat of mithril I couldn’t stop running my hands over the exquisite work, turning and twisting in the torchlight to watch the metal shimmer. Thorin lounged against a half ruined wall, oiling his armor and laughing at me, finally pulling me to sit beside him. “If I had known you liked shiny things so much I would never have sent you to the hoard.” His face froze for an instant but I was determined to keep him from dwelling on his gold lust so kept my voice light.

“Shush.” I tweaked his nose. “You can not deny this is more spectacular than any dress, and far more practical.”

“Truth.” He kissed my temple. “Go and sleep. I will wake you when we see them approach.” I lay in my bedroll, looking at my bridal wreath sitting atop the mithril coat and overwhelmed at Thorin’s generosity. What could I give him that would equal such riches? Finding the Arkenstone hardly counted; that had been a matter of returning something already his by birthright, no matter what he said. Worried, it took me a long time to sleep, and when Thorin woke me I was quiet as I donned the mail and girthed myself with Sting. We watched the small party of Men and Elves approach until they could speak to us. Bard and Thranduil stepped closer, setting the stolen packs and weapons in a pile. Then Thranduil presented his demands for living under the shadow of the dragon for so long, while Thorin fumed. The negotiation ended in an impasse, but once the Men and Elves were gone we scrambled for our things and Thorin hefted Orcrist with a small smile. “I have missed this blade more than I thought I would.”

“It suits you.” I smiled as I traced the similar pattern that decorated Orcrist on Sting. “And my letter opener matches it.”

“Aye, it does.” Thorin held them both easily, his experienced eye looking them both over. “Same metal, different smith. Same tools made the markings, thought. Maybe a master smith and his apprentice.”

“How can you tell?”

“Hmm.” Thorin set the blades down carefully and crouched down, tugging me between his legs. He pointed out small decorations on each blade, how the impressions had the same depth and edges. I finally shrugged, still unable to see everything Thorin did.

“I imagine if I tried to explain how my tomatoes were prize winners you would have the same reaction.”

“Probably.” Thorin wrapped his arms around me for a moment and rested his cheek on my head. “Come, my Queen. We should try and find some blankets and bedding. Something may have survived.”

“And the nights grow cold.” I agreed, and we took our matched weapons to do some exploring of our home. I was overwhelmed at the beauty and sheer size of Erebor, and Thorin told me stories about different meeting halls and the long rows of living quarters carved into the sides of the Mountain, overlooking various formations and natural caves that he referred to as grottos. We found a few wool blankets kept clean in a cedar chest and a cloak that he wrapped around my shoulders, clasping the fine cloth with his own pin to still my shivers. When I yawned without meaning to, Thorin stopped and glanced down at me, forehead creased.

“You push yourself so hard for me. Why didn’t you say you grew tired?”

“I’m so used to being tired now.” I flushed as he stepped closer and ran his finger down my cheek, his eyes darkening as he set the lantern on a nearby wall.

“You push your own needs to the side for me.” I tried to protest as he picked me up easily, cradling my head to his chest and scooping up the lantern, turning his steps towards the Front Gate. I felt safe in his arms and the rocking motion of his long strides soon sent me into a deep sleep. I woke when he set me into my bedroll gently, his hands gentle as they tucked me underneath the comforting weight of one of the blankets we had brought back. I tried to say something but he put a hand on my forehead, singing me to back to my dreams.

When I woke I wondered if I had imagined everything, but the solid weight of the intricately woven blanket told me we had in fact seen Erebor and my betrothed had indeed carried me back the entire journey, and my heart seemed to grow in my chest as I went to find Thorin and thank him for his kindness. He was at the Gate, motionless in the gray light of morning waiting for sunrise and counting the various smoke columns in the sky. “Their numbers have grown.”

“And a good morning to you.” I settled down and wrapped my blanket around my shoulders. The dusty smell was less noticeable out in the open air and I appreciated the warmth. Thorn smiled as he turned to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close.

“Hello. Sleep well?”

“Better than last night. Thank you for taking care of me.” He ghosted a kiss over my forehead and pulled me tighter.

“I am glad I can care for you even now.” We watched as the horizon lightened and the clouds became pearls blushing overhead until there was too much light and they were simple clouds once more. I let out my breath in a sigh and Thorin laughed quietly. “You make me see the world in a new way. I have never watched a sunrise so quietly.” I leaned into his embrace and he pulled me into his lap, resting his chin on the top of my head as the golden sunlight spilled across the land. We sat there until Dwalin emerged and growled angrily at his King.

“You’ve pushed the bounds of courting to the absolute limit, you know.”

“If she comes to me to watch the sunrise am I to leave her alone at the Gate?” Thorin didn’t even move his hands from me and I giggled. “And do you really think I would attempt anything with my queen out here?”

“I hardly know you anymore.” But the guard was smiling and he sat beside us easily. “When my brother appears, I have been here the entire time, yes?”

“Of course.”

 

That night, I lay awake until I was sure everyone was sleeping. Their chorus of snores that had once so bothered me was soothing and I could feel my eyes growing heavy, wanting to join them in their rest, but once I was sure I was alone, I slipped on my ring and made my way to the Gate. Balin was on watch, but I danced around him easily, making for the handholds that would let me down to the causeway. As I landed on the road, the clouds uncovered the moon and I shrank back, knowing my shadow would appear to the older dwarf waiting above. It took long minutes with cold sweat dripping down my back for the next cloud to grant me darkness, and as I ran I thanked Mahal and Yavanna.

Entering the city of tents was simple and I filled a sack with many delicious treats from the elves, knowing the chaos they would blame the children or even each other for missing morsels. After stashing my ill-gotten gains at the edge of camp I slipped back into Bard’s tent, but it was empty and I was too afraid to light even a candle to rifle through his papers. Disappointed, I turned to leave when the man I had been seeking suddenly entered, a lantern in his hand, and in a panic I ran to hide under the large chair Gandalf had used. With the shadows the light cast I felt safe enough there and watched Bard grown absorbed in his work before I departed, my heart beating so loudly in my ears I missed the footsteps of the guards, and if not for my ring I would have been discovered instantly. As it was, some quick footwork kept me safe and I recovered the food before making my way back to Erebor. And found an impatient king awaiting me, a rope already lowered as he drummed his fingers along the parapet.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella and Thorin come to an agreement and war looms, threatening them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My lovely readers, thank you for sticking with this story. Your comments and kudos are wonderful and I appreciate them more than I can say.

“You must stop doing that, Bella!” There was no trace of the lover who had watched the sunrise with me in the stern visage of my King as I stood in the main hall, and I lowered my eyes for a moment, my cheeks heating. But then my back stiffened and I glared back at Thorin, my arms folded protectively across my chest.

“And how much food did we have left? Now we can wait for Dain without having to worry. I care for you and your people more than I can say.” Thorin glared back and the air between us grew thick with the heat from our anger. He let out his breath with a deep sigh and his shoulders slumped.

“When I woke and saw you were gone I was afraid. Why must you do this to me?”

“Because I love you and I will not see you starve again. Nor will I let you keep me locked away to keep me safe. I came with you to escape that fate.” Tears stung my eyes as Thorin stepped towards me and enfolded me in his silent embrace once more, his arms tight across my back as he crushed me to his chest.

“So afraid, my Bella. But you are correct. I will not treat you as though you cannot defend yourself, for you have proven yourself many times over. I beg you, though, let me know next time.”

“I will.” He let me go and planted a kiss on my brow, wiping my cheeks of my tears.

“Then let us go enjoy some of the bounty you provided, my queen.” I was scolded by the rest of the dwarves, though some of their words were muted by the hunks of meat and bread in their mouths. I commented that even the elves could not ruin everything about the food and laughed as Dwalin groaned in unison with Nori and Ori. Bifur nodded his head deeply as he ate his greens that I had specially taken for him, making a few gestures that Bombur translated for me.

“My cousin thanks you for your risk, Bella, and says next time you go you should take his spear with you in case the wee cabbages grow too fierce.” We all laughed, though my betrothed and my prospective nephews all shot me looks that needed no interpretation. I smiled at them and tried to slip away to my bed, but Dwalin caught me before I had taken two steps and escorted me despite my protests.

“My queen, I have been tasked to guard the line of Durin. And it has been made clear to me that of all of them, you need the most watching.”

“Dwalin…” I knew I was whining and he grinned at me as I flopped to the blankets.

“I’m sorry, lass. But everyone was afraid when you disappeared. We thought you had hurt yourself.”

“If I promise to let you all know before I leave again would that ease your mind?” I knew my voice was tart but Dwalin simply smiled.

“Of course, my queen.”

“Then I swear by Yavanna and Mahal.” Dwalin bowed over my hand and took up his post, and his sudden formality overwhelmed me as I hid beneath my blankets. I had been avoiding thoughts of the future but if we survived, I would be entering a world where my actions would have far greater effect and scrutiny, and a single word from my lips could change the fate of an entire kingdom. I slept poorly and finally crept to Thorin’s side. He was awake in a moment, hand going to his dagger, but when he saw me he held out his arms and allowed me to burrow into the safety of his scent. He did not ask why I needed him, but threaded his hand through my braids and drew the blankets around my shoulders before allowing me to fall into sweet dreams.

I woke as he kissed my forehead, his beard rough on my skin as I grumbled and tried to bury my head under the covers. “ _Ghivashel_ , if you do not wish to see Balin switch me you must wake.”

“Maybe I do.” But I opened one eye and squinted against the light from lanterns that had not been there the day before. I heard Fíli and Kíli squabbling as they narrowly avoided burning our meager breakfast, and rose in panic to save their bacon. After eating, Thorin walked the perimeter of the great hall with Dori and Bofur, deep in discussion as I sat with Ori and asked him questions about the long ago battle over the Silmaril he had mentioned, fascinated by the dwarves’ perspective on the events. Finally Thorin gathered us all together.

“I dislike having the hoard so exposed here.”

“You’re not suggesting we move it?” Kíli leapt to his feet, dismayed. “That is the work of years!”

“I am suggesting no such thing, sister son. We have built one wall and we can build another to divide the entrance hall and rooms from this one. Dori and Bofur have a plan.”

“I don’t understand.” I glanced up at Thorin and he took a deep breath.

“I wish to be able to sit with you all without the gold distracting us. I know you feel some of what I do and I believe if we do not have to face it we can focus on our immediate problems.” I said nothing but looked to Bofur and Dori with gratitude, nodding my head and receiving deep bows in return. And Thorin had correctly judged his people; once a wall three times my height stretched across the tunnel to the Front Gate and our camp was relocated away from our treasure, the dwarves all seemed to shake off a weight I had not noticed until its absence.

The construction had taken three days and Dain was close, pushing hard, his army still secret from our besiegers. I announced at dinner that I would be entering the camp to make sure the element of surprise remained to us, and was gratified at the support I received and the admonitions to stay safe from all. Thorin helped me rappel down the wall and the pressure of his silent kiss on my cheek reminded me why I must take care.

 

The camp had not been idle as we labored; they knew they would have a hard time entering the Mountain, and I saw increased preparation for war everywhere I looked. And Bard’s tent had been moved, so I had to creep along the edge of fires and around piles of weapons. Suddenly I stepped on a branch that had been carelessly left lying in shadows and I froze. Guards converged on me immediately, their torches making a circle of light that would show me no matter what. I was trapped. I slipped the ring into my innermost pocket, took a deep breath, and stepped into view with my hands held out in surrender. The men lowered their crossbows. “A child?”

“No! That is the creature that stood by the dwarf king. Perhaps it is a dwarf woman?”

“I am a hobbit, you stupid men!” I stood tall, though I wore only a tunic and breeches, afraid my fine mail would be too noisy. “Take me to Gandalf.” Two of them tied my hands behind my back but did not put their hands on me, for which I was grateful, as we made our way onward. I was pushed into Bard’s tent in the middle of another argument between the two authority figures of the camp and they both fell silent as the guards explained. “You have changed since Lake Town, Halfling.” Bard looked at me carefully. “Braided and beaded as a dwarf now?”

“Not just any braids, either.” My heart froze as Thranduil stood. “Those are betrothal braids.” I should have had Thorin take them out to disguise me. “And those beads bear the seal of Durin. She is either Thorin’s or one of the Princes’. We have our bargaining chip.” I stared up at the King of the Woods in horror; he knelt and smiled at me, his eyes cold. “So, which is it?”

“You are mistaken. These are braids of adoption. They wished me to know I was part of the family since I gave up my home to follow them.” Thranduil laughed, not believing my lies.

“Thorin’s, I think. He would find your small stature appealing. He always did like being the stronger in the relationship.”

“I am not going to be party to this, Thranduil.” Bard scowled. “I ask you Gandalf’s question once more. Why do you deserve the gold? I have already offered you some of what Thorin has offered me. Once trade begins again we will all benefit.”

“They brought the dragon on us!” Thranduil turned on Bard with lightning swiftness. “My home grows ever darker and my people fear.” Their argument turned fierce and I carefully backed away, afraid one of them would step on me without realizing. I had gained a few feet, so distracted were they, but Thranduil noticed and grabbed me, holding me from the floor to stop my very badly planned escape. I screamed and kicked him, thrashing as his arm tightened across my ribs. Every lesson my dwarves had given me came back and I tried to head butt and bite, my vision darkening. I was going to get hurt again.

“Let me go! Stop! Please!” Bard at least realized I was not just reacting to the immediate situation and grabbed me from the taller elf, setting me down and backing away as I curled up on myself, weeping, unable to follow their conversation. Eventually Bard untied me and led me away by the hand, and I was put in another tent with a female I recognized from Thranduil’s palace. She watched me carefully as I lay down on the cot provided and fell asleep, and woke me when Bard and Thranduil were preparing to approach the Mountain again.

 

When I saw Thorin’s face above the ramparts, his eyes never leaving me, I felt so guilty I had to look down at my feet to hide my shame. Thranduil’s gloating voice pressed down on me and before I knew it I was kneeling on the rocky ground in front of my home. Tears blinded me to the sight of Thorin Oakenshield, King under the Mountain, pleading with the Men and Elves to return his burglar. I wept in anger and hatred for the Big Folk who could hold me captive without expending any effort, because I was small and useless. “What have you _done_ to her, you monster?” Thorin’s voice punched through my fear, the snarl he directed at Thranduil magnified by the walls of Erebor. “Even Smaug did not reduce her to this! Have you touched her at all, threatened her with harm? She has been through too much to have to face such indignity at your unkind hands! Without her, Bard would not have known of the dragon’s weakness. Without her, we would not have even made it past the mountain passes. You hold the true hero of this entire situation as though she was a being of no consequence!”

My tears dried at his words and I raised my head again to look at him. Thorin was pale, his eyes even at this distance enough to bring a flutter of desire to my body as he harangued Bard for breaking the ties that had once bound Dale and Erebor. Bard at least looked ashamed and shot Thranduil a few glares. There was no one like Thorin for a long rant, and he went on for several more minutes while our eyes never left the other. Thranduil said nothing until Thorin finished, the Elvin King’s voice clipped.

“Her portion of the hoard for her safe return. Gandalf mentioned one fourteenth, I believe.”

“I rescinded that part of the contract in return for a home.” I finally spoke, my voice rough in my ears. “Balin should still have the contract with the amendment at the end. For unlike all other races who are blinded by the shallow glitter of riches, their hearts torn in many directions, dwarves love gold for what it can bring them. And they have taught me there is nothing more precious than a true home of the heart. That is why they treat with Bard, for he has lost his home and they know that ache. You should too, son of Oropher, unless the long years of security have robbed you of your memory.” I struggled to my feet, aware I was the absolute center of attention and feeling my cheeks heat with embarrassment at my lie, for all that I had privately decided not to keep my portion. “And what you all do now is cause division where there should be unity.”

“Very well said, my dear Belladonna.” The familiar voice, coming from behind me, brought a smile of relief to my lips. “For war is set to begin soon. You are trapped, Bard, between Erebor and an army of dwarves from the Iron Hills. If you had ignored Thranduil’s biased advice and accepted Thorin’s offer, they would have given you security and food. Thranduil wishes to see Thorin humbled, and in his quest for revenge has brought you all to the edge of ruin.”

“I? Mithrandir, you remember what the dwarves of Nogrod did to Doriath!” So Ori had been correct. I couldn’t believe Thranduil would hold Thorin personally responsible for something that had happened well over six thousand years ago.

“Thorin is not of that line! In your desire to see dead dwarves punished for sins Ages past, you have brought this part of the world into great danger. Release Bella back to her family, allow the exchange to take place, and we can avoid needless slaughter. Else I will gather in the elves of Lothlórien and Imladris and Mithlond and I will make you see reason. You may be of the eldest but you are still a child.” Gandalf stood beside me and nodded to Thorin, who bent his head without taking his eyes from mine. As the wizard untied my arms, I suddenly knew how to escape the elves and took a deep breath.

“Gandalf, would the elves ever try and harm you?”

“No.” He glanced down at me, a smile trembling on his lips. This was the Gandalf of my childhood, who had indulged my wanderlust and my mother’s before mine, and I knew he would play along with my plan long enough. I stilled my laughter and took a deep breath.

“Then would you mind holding still for a few moments?” As Thranduil marched back towards us, his face cold, I put my hand into my pocket, slipped the ring onto my finger, and dove under Gandalf’s outer robe. The defeated cry that Thranduil let out as he ran towards Gandalf was sweet, but I had bigger concerns. I snuck out the other side of Gandalf’s wonderfully concealing clothing as he began to laugh, pressed myself against the rock wall of the causeway, and ran. Thorin realized what was happening and leapt from the wall with Dwalin, distracting half the elves while Bard yelled for his men to retreat. I was able to dodge and spin around the milling warriors until I was level with Thorin and called his name. He and Dwalin fought free, climbing the ropes dropped for them, and I followed Thorin as best as I could. I took off the ring once I was over the wall and fell into Thorin’s welcoming arms, sobbing and apologizing through my tears while he clung to me, rocking me back and forth and whispering my name. His cheeks were damp as he kissed me shakily, our tears mingling as we clung to the other.

“Forgive me, _ghivashel_.” Thorin took a deep breath and I realized we were both kneeling on the ground, some distance from the others. “You looked so terrified. I would have given him the gold. Anything to get you back.”

“Gandalf always has the best timing.” I buried my head in Thorin’s shoulder. His arms around my body meant I was safe, so why I was crying again made no sense to me. And to see Thorin crying was confusing. I had never seen a male cry before. Sad, yes, but never with tears coursing down their cheeks. Thorin rocked me back and forth, his tears wetting my hair as he whispered my name. Balin ran over to us, concerned.

“Thranduil is threatening retribution, Thorin.”

“We will have to hope that Dain arrives soon and Gandalf can make him see reason.” Thorin wiped his cheeks unashamedly and helped me stand. “Let her rest. I will see if the elves have changed their tune.”

They had not, and they did not leave the causeway, trapping us inside. The ravens had to be careful flying in with their news, using one of the broken panes far above the throne to squeeze inside. Dain was hurrying but we were tensed, waiting for the elves to begin their attack now that they knew we had reinforcements arriving. I was too afraid to leave, and tried not to show my relief when Thorin took to keeping me at his side, often holding my shoulder or hand. He taught me more offensive tactics with my dagger, and the long hours went faster as I learned real fighting from the Company. Oddly, Bofur gave the best advice on how to duck and weave, laughing that being a miner taught those skills better than any battlefield. And then, after two nights of watchful trepidation, Dain arrived.

 

It was Gandalf who saved us, of course. Battle lines had been formed and I shook, knowing I was not ready for war, when the wizard appeared in all his power and alerted us to the presence of Azog and the army of Wargs and Orcs approaching from the north. Thorin offered the refuge of the walls and I was glad we had hidden our deception of the hoard even as I decided then and there I would do my best to reward our new allies in whatever way I could.

As the mixed army of elves and dwarves and men rushed into Erebor, Dain, Thranduil and Bard all bowed to Thorin and appointed him battle leader as the elves used their bows to devastating effect on the front lines. Thorin accepted and soon had everyone in regiments, pike men from Dale in front, to prepare a charge to break the Orcs. He looked to me and beckoned, pressing a kiss to my lips before pushing me back towards the elves, dropping his helm over his face.

“Stay safe, my Bella. Find Gandalf, and whatever happens, he will get you to safety. You are my Queen and I know you will lead Erebor to greatness.” He glanced over at Dain, who was staring at me in open curiosity. “She is my heart, cousin.”

“Then we will follow where she leads.” They left me and I went to stand at the wall, shaking and trying not to lose Thorin as he roared a challenge and led the army forward under a rain of arrows. Azog bellowed his reply and as the armies crashed together the elves joined the fray, leaving their best behind to harass the rear guard of the Orcs. I saw Thorin, helm lost, as he protected Kíli and Fíli from Azog and lost my mind. Gandalf approached me, his face set, so I slipped my ring on to leap from the wall, Sting glowing like a torch in my hand as I cut my way to my beloved.

I would not be left behind again, to be treated like a figurehead and with no family. I had decided long ago that death would be preferable. I arrived in time to stop a downward stroke from Azog’s sword, and his utter disbelief at seeing his weapon freeze against an invisible barrier gave Thorin enough time to recover and plunge Orcrist into his enemy’s chest. I fell back, and saw a familiar silhouette in the sky.

“The Eagles are coming!” Thorin spun at my voice, and Azog, dying but too close to Thorin, whipped his iron arm around to cut Thorin’s throat and face deeply, the blood splattering my face and hands. I ripped the ring from my finger and threw myself at the pale Orc, stabbing and screaming my rage as Fíli and Kíli tried to protect me from the snarling Warg. My last conscious thought before I slipped on the black blood staining the ground and hit my head was that if Thorin was dead, at least I would join him soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't read the Silmarillion, you really should, despite the criminal lack of attention paid to the dwarves.
> 
> Mithlond - The Grey Havens


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the battle is difficult for everyone, and Bella finds herself adjusting to her new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the cliffhanger, but I hope this chapter makes up for it.

I knew not how long I lay on the battlefield, and had to glean the story of our victory from others. Beorn arrived moments after I fell and stood over Thorin and I, aided by Fíli and Kíli, and assuredly the line of Durin forever owed the skin changer the debt of blood, for without him the Princes would have been overwhelmed by sheer numbers. The Eagles killed all who fled, and the fragile alliance of men and elves and dwarves rid the land of a scourge that had festered too long. I woke while I was being carried to the healer’s tent, and it was the second worst waking of my life as I gasped for breath and began to scream, the cuts on my legs and throat deep and ragged. Gentle hands held me down and even softer touches got me to gulp down a heavy dose of poppy milk that sent me into blessed darkness. And despite the pain and the drugs, I wore a small smile on my face, because I had heard a familiar voice close by, screaming my name.

I thought I heard Gandalf and Thorin talking but I was warm and numb, so I let their words flow through me and drifted along the current of their conversation, waking again when there were hands touching my ribs. I lashed out and my wrist was enveloped in a large hand that let go immediately. “I am sorry. Can you open your eyes, Belladonna?”

“No.”

“Will you try?”

“Who are you?” I croaked and felt the cool ceramic of a mug pressed against my lips.

“Drink this. There you go. I am Elyë, of the court of Thranduil and his personal healer.” Despite myself, I felt my curiosity stir and cracked my eyes open, to find the interior of the tent was dark but for stars far above that resolved into small holes in the canvas. Elyë was a silhouette sitting above me but I saw the curve of her lips as she smiled. “You and your betrothed are out of immediate danger, Belladonna. Did I frighten you? The King mentioned that you reacted to his touch as one hurt.”

“He tried to take my control from me.” I tried to sit up but her cool hands pressed my bare shoulders to the cot.

“Your mithril coat kept your vital organs safe, but you are bruised along your ribs. May I put this salve on them?” I let out a shaky breath and nodded. She was quick with her work and soon had me more comfortably bandaged and propped up on pillows, finally able to see Thorin. His face was smooth but for a ragged gash cutting across his forehead, missing his eye by a mere inch and notching his ear. His chest was bare but I could barely see his skin through the mass of bandages and I took a labored breath.

“How fare the Princes?”

“They are in the tent next to you. Your healer…Óin?” I nodded and she continued. “He is tending them. They lost much blood but he saved them and with time they will recover.” I closed my eyes. “All of your companions are wounded, but they live.” She left me and I wept in gratitude, thanking all the Valar I could name and those I did not know until the drugs did their work and I drifted away.

 

Thorin had bullied Elyë into pushing his and my cots together, and if she muttered about the scandal she still obeyed the King. We rolled our eyes at her; neither of us could even sit without help. My neck and legs had a map of angry red lines that showed how the claws and teeth of the White Warg had nearly ended me, and Thorin showed more bandages than skin, but we were together. He liked to run his hands through my hair and whisper my name softly, the wonder in his voice enough to bring me to tears. One night neither of us could sleep and I managed to roll to my side so we could pretend we were cuddling and Thorin moaned as my hair fell into his face. “My little burglar.”

“I never really stole anything for you except for the key from the head guard, an axe and some food.”

“You stole much more than that.” Thorin managed to get his arm around my shoulders and kissed my forehead. “If you don’t know what it is yet you’ll find out soon enough.” I nuzzled the undamaged skin on his neck and kissed him softly before falling back in the poppy milk sleep. We were two weeks in the tents, during which time Dain’s dwarves had been cleaning out the real healing hall in Erebor. The transfer there involved litters and Thorin clinging to me as we made our way through the Front Gate, our heads together as he whispered his love in my ear and I made him lie still.

The dwarves not of the Company eyed me as we were carried by, and I heard several ask if that was the hobbit. Thorin looked terribly smug, his hand tangled in mine until we were transferred to our new beds and Óin stood over us both, checking our bandages and instructing the other healers on the placement of pillows and the new drugs to give us both. I watched as Fíli and Kíli were carried in and placed down the room from us and I waved as best I could, Fíli winking since both his arms were still splinted and Kíli waggled his eyebrows as he leered. “Your nephews are ridiculous, your Majesty.”

“I am aware, your Highness.”

“Stop that, I haven’t been crowned and I haven’t married you yet.” I scoffed as one of the female healers dropped her tray, staring at Thorin in shock before Óin scolded her and shooed her away. Thorin smirked and I sighed. “You did that on purpose.”

“I am bedridden and can not even hold you, my Bella. How else am I to entertain myself?” Óin glowered at the King for a moment and then laughed.

“Well, with that secret out I’ll have to put guards on the door now. Once I get you all in here it might be wise to do that anyway.”

“Aye. I need rest, not gawkers trying to catch a glimpse of my bride.” Thorin managed to touch my cheek before closing his eyes.

 

Two months went by in a haze of drugs and pain. I was on my feet before Thorin, but only barely. In those two months huge strides had occurred. The elves had left and Thranduil had sent Thorin private assurances that the elves of Mirkwood would do what they could to help Erebor. Thorin rolled his eyes but dictated a response with Balin’s help, full of empty phrases that reminded me of the Shire, and decided that I would do better at diplomacy than I had thought. Dale was being rebuilt, and Bard was using the gold Thorin had given him to pay dwarf craftsmen, and I couldn’t help my feeling of smug relief that my hastily concocted plan had actually worked to the benefit of Erebor. Gandalf had disappeared, but I knew I would see him again so focused my energy on recovering.

The hoard was contained securely behind new walls, waiting for the Company to lay claim. I had privately told Thorin I did not want for much and that I wished to reward the Iron Hills soldiers who had come to our aid when no one else would. He had kissed me and called me a wonderful Queen, promising in its stead to give me the garden I longed for, and flowers to replace my jewels. The Royal Wing had been badly gutted, for there had been many treasures therein, but the walls had been restored and new mattresses installed, and for weary travelers that was luxury indeed. I spent two days getting Thorin’s room ready for him, waiting impatiently for Óin’s decision that the King could walk on his own. I had talked with my nephews to be about their Uncle’s tastes and had done my best to find things he might enjoy.

 

Thorin glanced around the room as I helped him inside and he chuckled. “Someone has been telling secrets, I see.” I giggled as he sank to a stone bench in front of the fire I had laid and I kissed his forehead. The main room was bare but for a few small boxes of silver and a table I had laid claim to in Thorin’s name, and on top of them sat candles and a small incense burner. I had found a old apothecary shop while exploring during the siege and had pocketed the juniper resin, thinking it might help cope with the dragon’s ever present scent.

I hadn’t had a chance to use it until now, but it made the chamber smell like the deep woods and I saw Thorin’s shoulders relax as he breathed deep. Pride of place had been given to the white marble table I had bullied some warriors into carting up here, and the courting wreath Thorin had made for me sat next to his crown. Everything I had managed to find was blue or silver, including the few candles. I thought the white marble complimented the scheme and Thorin seemed to appreciate my efforts as he snagged me and made me sit by him. “Once my chambers were nothing but blue and silver. Fíli will have them now, and Kíli will have Frerin’s old rooms. When Dís arrives she will take her old chambers, but I thought you might take them for now.”

“Are the customs different when we are betrothed?” Thorin pressed a kiss to my temple.

“Yes. When we were here under siege I was too afraid of losing you to care despite Balin’s concern, and we have been utterly incapable of anything approaching something that would be considered improper until now.”

“Improper.” I snorted. “We’ve lain together.”

“But then I asked for your hand.” Thorin sighed deeply. “I keep forgetting how different our people are in so many ways. I imagine for hobbits the closer to the wedding you get the farther you can take things with your intended?”

“I don’t know.” His breath sucked in sharply and he knocked our foreheads together gently, his eyes sorrowful. I took his strong chin in my hand and shook his head back and forth.

“Hush. You have shown me that what I used to fear with every fiber of my being is in fact something so wonderful that every time I look at you I want you more and more. So courting for dwarves means you must abstain from the more casual relationships you might have enjoyed previously?” I realized how much he had bent for me for our time in the Mountain together and appreciated how difficult it must have been for him.

“Exactly. I asked for you to marry me, therefore I must prove myself a worthy partner.”

“Thorin, you’re King under the Mountain!” I snorted. “You reclaimed your home, killed Azog, and saved my life. And you proved yourself adaptable to hobbit custom to a certain extent. What else could I demand of you?”

“I will make these rooms habitable and provide you with the appropriate garb at the least. And I must wait for my sister to arrive.”

“Now that is a reasonable excuse. Family is much more important than whether I have a pretty dress.” I smacked his arm gently and he smiled.

“My pretty hobbit lass. When Dís arrives, I will wed you. In the meantime, you will sleep in her rooms.” I sighed and nodded.

“I suppose we should wait until we’re healthier, anyway.”

“There is that, sadly.” Thorin grumbled as he flexed his shield arm carefully. “Your scars are healing?”

“They are tender in places still.” I put my hand on my stomach. The lack of food had starved nearly all my curves from me and Thorin bemoaned their loss while he tried to make me eat his meager portions. “Well, let me show you the bedroom and then I can go move down the hall for now.” Thorin pulled me into a slow kiss before walking with me through a large archway, the hinges for the long rotted door still shining in their brackets, and he patted my shoulder when he saw what I had done. The large bed frame, set against the far wall of the bedroom, had survived the long years, being carved of stone, and I had made curtains of linen and embroidered Thorin’s seal on one panel for some decoration. Thorin smiled and nodded in appreciation. “You take such care of me I feel I am constantly in your debt. I will make it up to you.”

“I accept kisses.” Thorin snorted and spun me carefully, planting a firm kiss on my lips until I whined in surrender and sagged into his chest. Someone cleared their throat and Thorin sighed.

“Yes, Balin?” I wondered how many times Balin had caught Thorin’s attention that he recognized the sound.

“I have the unfortunate task of bringing you the paperwork, lad. I see our Queen found you a fine table to serve as a desk.”

“Ah. I had almost forgotten while we were on the road. Yes. Let me get her settled in her rooms and I will be back in a moment.” Apparently Thorin was as sneaky as a hobbit, for his sister’s old rooms were ready for me, and Thorin carried in my crown and set it on a beautiful cedar chest that held two beautiful tapers of pure beeswax that I recognized from Beorn’s hall.

“Where did you get that?”

“It was in one of the warehouses near Lake Town and I was able to purchase it. Your pretty silk dress was ruined in the water but I thought you might want to keep it safe.”

“I do.” I sighed deeply and leaned into my betrothed. “Do I need to get you a bead for your hair?”

“If you would like to. First we must design you a seal and choose your colors. I was thinking green.”

“As a foil for yours?”

“Partly.” Thorin put a gentle finger on my nose. “And partly because you are beautiful in green. I will send for you when it is time to eat. Feel free to explore your new home, but be careful.”

“I will check in on Fíli and Kíli. They haven’t been released yet and I’m sure they’re lonely.” Thorin’s smile deepened, but he had to leave me and I found myself sinking to the ground. Queen. Talk of seals and colors and finery had my head reeling. I wanted Thorin as my husband but how could I be the ruler of a people I didn’t understand and who would resent my outsider status? I dragged my feet to the healing halls and found Fíli and Kíli restless. I sat between their beds and Fíli reached over to pat my shoulder awkwardly.

“Bella, you look sad.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready to be queen, Fíli.” I glanced around, making sure no one could hear me. “I’m afraid I’ll cause more problems for Thorin with his people.”

“Don’t be silly. He already has two heirs and you helped reclaim our home. You’re a hero.” Fíli tugged on one of my braids gently. “And he loves you. We love but once, and any other marriage he would be forced into would be known as a sham. You will make a fine queen.”

“And a fine Auntie.” Kíli piped up from the other side of me and I stuck my tongue out at him. He just grinned. “Mother’s going to love you. She’s a smith like Uncle but she’s got a better appreciation of gardening than most dwarves. In our old home she managed to grow some herbs and vegetables to help feed us.”

“I wish we had known. The Shire has an over abundance of food and we could have traded with you.”

“Would they have, really?” I opened my mouth and then shut it, unwilling to lie to my family. Fíli nodded.

“Gandalf was right. He said you were the best the Shire had to offer. We thought he was joking when you nearly slammed the door on us.”

“Nearly slammed the door on the best things to ever happen to me.” I leaned back with a sigh. “I don’t think I can ever tell you how utterly alone I was there.”

“We could tell. Even when you got scared reading the contract, when you signed right then and there I wasn’t surprised.”

“I was.” I smiled as Fíli squeezed my hand. “Your uncle’s comment about being a grocer sealed it.” We all laughed. I left them after their drugs made them sleepy and made my way to the Front Gate, breathing in the cold air and escape the ever-present dragon stench. Winter had come while we healed, but shipments of food from the south kept us limping along until we could begin trade with Dale. The cold finally penetrated through my heavy wool dress and I turned to find Dwalin, his arm still in a sling, waiting patiently.

“Dwalin! When were you released?”

“Yesterday. Balin finally approved of the work done on our old home and said I was allowed to see it.”

“You never…”

“I was born after.” The large warrior patted my hand as he led me into the warmth of Erebor and gazed around at the still ruined entrance hall. “But it feels like home, and we are hosting those of the Company Óin has deemed fit, and we will see if Bombur has managed to stretch our rations for today.” The skilled cook had worked a minor miracle, and as I sat at Thorin’s left hand I devoured the meal, barely paying attention to the conversation of my family until I heard someone say my name.

“Bella?”

“Hmm?” I glanced up at Bofur who laughed before handing me a rolled up piece of parchment.

“I was in Dale today seeing what kind of stone they need and Bard gave this to me. He has heard you have a genius for growing things and begs your assistance to help the Men with their fields.”

“How did he hear that, I wonder?” I quirked my eyebrow at Thorin, who simply smiled.

“The rumors surrounding you are simply astonishing, _ghivashel_ , though I may have mentioned to Balin we might need your expertise to get through the next few years as trade restarts.” Balin assumed an innocent expression that was so utterly transparent I had to laugh, and I carefully tucked the parchment into my pocket.

“Very strange, indeed. Perhaps I will find myself in Dale soon.” I leaned into Thorin’s shoulder, overwhelmed at how my family took care of me still and thinking the worst just might be behind us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this part of the story is winding down, but never fear, there's plenty more of Bella's story to come.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Transitions from exile to home are never simple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Calliope and I had a long argument about this chapter. But kicking and screaming, a coherent story has emerged despite my best efforts.

As the months went by and the Mountain slumbered beneath a blanket of snow, we waited for dispatches from Dís, leading the caravan out of the Blue Mountains. They were making for the Gap of Rohan, since their wagons were too large to use the passes over the Misty Mountains, and Thorin fretted between the arrival of ravens. I did my best to soothe him, but the work to restore our home left us little time besides brief meals to talk. Fíli and Kíli were allowed brief excursions outside after I had been on my feet for almost two months, and I accompanied them when I could. One early spring morning, I found them strolling outside my door, faces entirely too innocent.

“Ah, Auntie!” Fíli over exaggerated a double take, clasping his hand to his forehead. “I forgot you were here.”

“What brings you to this lovely corridor?” I leaned against the doorframe and tried to hide my smile, failing as Kíli bowed over my hand.

“Hasn’t your Uncle set your tasks today?”

“Alas, we have not seen him yet. And we find ourselves at loose ends.” Fíli took my other hand and tugged gently. “And there’s something we’d like to show you.”

“Is it far?”

“Not at all.” Their suppressed smirks worried me, but I followed them towards Thorin’s rooms at the far end of the Royal Wing, trying to gage Kíli’s limp and impressed at how quickly he had healed. Fíli turned away from Thorin’s door and pushed at a section of the wall that swung open silently, both brothers laughing as I leapt backwards, hand over my mouth.

“How…”

“Come on!” The door led to a short tunnel, the walls smooth and carved with a single line I recognized as Thorin’s personal seal. Kíli shouldered another door open and we stepped out onto a bare shelf of granite, walled off from the edge by a rugged wall that topped my shoulders. I twirled in a circle, shivering in the abrupt transition and wondering what this was. Fíli and Kíli watched me as I walked to the edge and peeked over the wall, staring at the snow covered plains stretching to the east. “What do you think?”

“In the summer it will be nice.” Kíli shrugged out of his coat and draped it over my shoulders as he came to stand by me.

“Could you grow things out here?” I spun and stared up at them.

“What?”

“If we build you beds and brought soil.” I finally realized they were serious and covered my face, laughing in disbelief.

“Really?”

“Of course, Auntie. Uncle told us that you’ve given up your gold and that he promised you flowers. He’s been so busy with the refugees returning he told us to see to your garden.” I fell into Kíli’s arms and hugged him fiercely.

“Your mother must be quite proud of you two. Thank you.” Kíli hugged me back and made me show them where I would put different plants, where I would put a table and benches, and hustled me back inside as the sun began to set. At dinner they were full of ideas, telling Thorin what he must make me, and though my betrothed smiled and nodded, he seemed subdued and asked me to walk with him after we finished eating. I took his hand in mine and let him lead me towards the Great Market, which was partly repaired and a popular place for our people to gather. But he turned off into a smaller tunnel and we wound in silence until we reached a private grotto, where quartz veins shimmered in the light of our lantern. I sat on the bench carved into the wall and let Thorin pace. “What is it?”

“The caravan has been delayed north of Rohan and my sister says they’re running low on food. I didn’t want to tell the boys since they were so happy tonight.” Thorin leaned his head into my shoulder and groaned. “I just want to get married. This waiting is interminable.”

“It will not be so bad, my love.” I patted his shoulder, unsure what to else to say. Nothing we could do would get the rest of his people home faster. “They will be safe and we will see them in time.”

“As you say.” We sat in silence until I knew we both were nearly asleep, and I chivied my betrothed to his bed, standing outside his door to kiss him before we could be spotted.

 

The next day, Dori and Bifur were waiting outside my door to escort me to my lessons with Balin. I protested I had not eaten and was assured food would be provided, and I allowed myself to be led to Balin’s offices near the throne room. He looked as though he had been in place for days, and the heavy bags under his eyes were troubling. But the smile on his face allayed my worries, and I marveled again at how comfortable he looked, back in his home, as we went through the traditional vows, Dori and Bifur both correcting me as needed. I wished I understood the words I was saying, but Balin promised once I was crowned he would make sure I was given a tutor.

“Once you are Queen, those who object will have no provision of the law to fall back on. Right now, you are of the line of Durin but not a dwarf.”

“I will be guided by you, my friend.” I walked around the room the way Balin had instructed, my steps fluid. “Do I really have to wear shoes?”

“I’m afraid so.” I sighed, then shrugged. Dori grimaced into his beard but said nothing as Bifur grumbled something at Balin. Balin held up his hands. “The wording is quite clear, for once. ‘She will be clad head to toe in all her finery, and he shall make her Queen.’ From Durin’s own lips, my friends.”

“It’s fine, Bifur. You’ve all adjusted to me and it’s only fair I return your courtesy. As long as I walk slowly I’ll be fine.”

“You’re really never worn shoes before?” Dori watched me walk and corrected the set of my shoulders.

“I’m not sure any hobbit in living memory has.” I laughed suddenly. “And I’m not sure what will shock my family more. That old spinster Belladonna landed herself a husband or that she wore shoes.” My voice turned bitter and I had to turn away from the naked sympathy on my brother’s faces. “Or that anyone would put this much effort…” I gripped my skirt in my fists, unable to continue. Gentle hands touched my shoulders and though I flinched, I turned into Bifur’s chest and let my cold tears wash over my cheeks. When I fumbled in my pocket for a handkerchief, I found Dori hovering, waiting with his own, and they said nothing as they wiped my face and took me back to my rooms. I lay in bed until Thorin and Fíli brought me dinner and sat with me, saying little until I felt ready to talk. I told them both how strange I felt adjusting to a new home and a new family, that there was a voice in my head whispering I didn’t deserve any of their kindness and I would wake one day to find it all a dream. My voice broke as I finished and I turned my eyes to the gouges in the ceiling where Smaug had ripped jewels and gold from their settings.

“ _Ghivashel_ , there is nothing strange about your fears.” Thorin bent his head over my hand, his deep voice soothing. “I lay awake at night, hearing Smaug’s wings beat overhead and his voice telling me he has come to take his home back. You have suffered long years. It will take more than a few months for you to heal. But we will be here for you whenever you need us.” I fell asleep as they sang to me, and in the morning found King and Prince sleeping outside the entrance to my bedroom, guarding my dreams. And in the light of morning, my tears were warm in their gratitude.

 

Bard and I shared a careful friendship, mostly over our shared frustration with the King of Mirkwood and concern for agriculture. I advised him where to plant his orchards and fields, how to reawaken the soil with ash, dung, peat from the lakeshore and hay from the high mountain pastures over looking the valley. Dwalin often accompanied me, sometimes alone, other times with the new guard corps he was forming from the returning dwarves, always watchful. Some days, I found it difficult to enter Dale, the presence of so many beings larger than I overwhelming, and Dwalin was a great comfort to me, letting me recover in my own time. I was sitting outside the gates, taking deep breaths while he went to fetch Bard, when I saw a raven fluttering overhead. I waved and to my shock, the large bird diverted and landed at my feet, bobbing its head. “Highness.”

“Have you returned from Dís?” I knelt and fumbled at my belt, finding a biscuit I had been saving for a snack and handing the messenger a generous portion.

“I have. I am Raka, daughter of Roäc.” She eyed the beads in my braids and hopped backwards, flaring her wings briefly. “Tell the King that his sister is five days hence.” I leapt to my feet and she squawked in protest, but I was too excited to do anything but shout my apologies as I waved to Dwalin and Bard, coming up the main road towards me. When I stammered out what had me so excited, Bard bowed his head and promised he would see us later, understanding that Thorin would want this news quickly.

Dwalin let me clamber onto the back of his pony and we rode out of the valley and up the causeway, ignoring the startled looks being shot our way. I leapt to the ground inside the Front Gate and ran for the throne room, stopping halfway with a grimace, my lungs on fire. By the time the spots had left my vision, Dwalin had caught me and he escorted me into the Court of Erebor, where Thorin sat between two braziers and ignored the snow swirling high overhead. For all that a cold spring had begun, the Mountain still wore a cloak of white and I appreciated more and more the heavy wool I had been given.

One of his advisors was speaking, but when we entered the King held up his hand and all withdrew, bowing their heads carefully. I tried to meet their eyes but felt myself tensing, my neck trembling from the effort of not ducking my head the way I wanted to. Once they were out of earshot I stepped forward and took Thorin’s hand in mine. “One of the ravens has returned. Dís is five days from here.” Thorin’s eyes shone and his hand tightened on mine, but he did not move from the throne. The dance of Court was intricate and he could not lower his mask even now. “Thank Mahal. Dwalin, will you inform your brother?”

“At once.” Thorin turned his gaze to me and kept his voice low.

“Does Balin think you’re ready?”

“He does.”

“Then we will be married within the week.” His advisors were staring so I simply bowed my head, though keeping the smile from my face was beyond me.

“Then I will see you tonight.” As I left, I felt Thorin’s eyes on me and turned in the entrance to glance back over the stomach-clenching drop. Though he had resumed normal business, his eyes never left me, and I blew him a kiss before running to spread the good news to my people.

 

Five days later, we stood on the banks of the River Running and watched as a long train of wagons resolved from the plains and began the trek up the causeway, accompanied by the music of pipes and drums. My eyes were drawn to an imperious figure in mail and fur, their long dark braids instantly identifying them as one of Durin’s heirs. From my vantage point the Princess’ features were a blur and if I had not had Thorin’s warm hand on mine, I would have said he led the wagon train. I was unprepared for the cold eyes that swept over me once Dís and her vanguard crested the road and she leapt to the ground, striding forward as though she expected to encounter resistance. Once the royal siblings eyes locked, there was a strange tension in the air as they stepped within striking distance and both held a hand over their weapon. “Sister. I am pleased you have arrived.”

“And have I arrived to a home or a treasure vault?” Her voice was a gentle tenor but held the same note of command, and my heart shrank within me. Dís was a queen. How could I ever present the same commanding question without sounding like a child?

“A home of the heart, my sister.” Fíli and Kíli were tensed on either side of me and I reached down to grab their hands in mine. I recognized the pleading tone of Thorin’s voice and knew what he was trying to say. “Welcome home.” The smile that flashed across her face dispelled much of her hauteur and she turned to look up at the halfway repaired gate and the wall beyond.

“I remember it being bigger when I was a child.” She crushed Thorin in a hug and a rousing cheer echoed over the valley and the plains from the assembled gathering. “Where are my sons, my _shomakhîth_?” Kíli stepped forward first, and I watched his knee nearly give way, but he righted himself and crashed into his mother, bending his cheek to her hair and brokenly whispering her name over and over. Fíli was seconds behind his brother, but he did not release my hand and I found myself staring up into light brown eyes that widened then narrowed in assessment.

“Mother, this is our Aunt and fellow _shomakhîth_ , the only reason we stand here now.” Fíli stood proudly, but the quaver in his voice betrayed his worry and I held my breath.

“Princess.” I tried to curtsy but was stopped by a shake of her head. Dís glanced over at Thorin and back to me.

“This is your Queen, brother? She is a delicate flower to live in such rocky soil.”

“Sometimes the smallest of flowers can have the deepest roots, sister mine.” Thorin stepped close enough to put his hand on the small of my back. Dís nodded in appreciation and bent her head to me.

“Then it is a pleasure to meet you, Bella. Forgive me. My brother’s missives led me to picture you as a fierce warrior in the mold of my grandmother, but it seems you have hidden depths. I look forward to having a new sister.” She reached out her arms and hugged me tightly, and in a moment my family pressed around us both in a wordless welcome. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The marriage of Bella and Thorin sets the stage for their future and the future of their home.

That night, I left Thorin, Dís and the boys in Thorin’s sitting room, slipping away to let them talk before the Princess and I had to get over the awkward stage of getting to know the other. That she had feared her brother lost to the gold-lust despite their long correspondence made me wonder what she had suffered when her father fell and my brain shied away from such thoughts. I had not asked Thorin about much of his past, Balin’s stories enough to fill me with horror, and we had enough to deal with. I collapsed onto the beautiful couch, made for Dís by two newly arrived dwarves, and fell asleep in front of the fire. I woke when someone touched my cheek, startling awake to find the embers casting strange shadows into the room and a dark figure hovering overhead. “Thorin?”

“I wish you were the first to make that mistake.” I sat up and felt my cheeks heat as Dís sat next to me, but the smile on her face granted me some relief. “Alas, I took after my father, and Frerin inherited the golden beauty of our mother.”

“I haven’t asked much after him.”

“It’s not something Thorin will speak of easily. He was there when Frerin fell and…” Dís took a deep breath and turned from me, her hawk nose creating a stark shadow on the wall. “My family has lost much, Bella. And traveling here, I heard rumors in Rohan that Thorin had fallen to our curse, that he was denying the legitimate claims of the men of Dale. I walked up the road to my home sure I would have to kill my only living brother to save my people. But you saved him.”

“He saved himself.”

“Not from what he told me. No one else could have broken through that possessiveness. When my father left we could not stop him for all our begging and pleading, and he left us on the brink of starvation. Thorin pulled us back, and I was prepared to do the same for Erebor.” She turned and met my horrified gaze. “So you saved more than you know.”

“I’ve been afraid to ask about the exile. Thank you for telling me.”

“Of course, sister.” She smiled suddenly. “Enough. I have not slept in a real bed for months and I must insist you not sleep out here.” The bed was larger than my dining room table, and it felt ridiculous as we settled ourselves under the blankets. Dís caught my eye and we both laughed, scooting closer to the middle. She inquired about my story and after a pause that grew in length and awkwardness, I told her how the Company had arrived unannounced and swept me on an adventure. After an internal debate while I shared the story of entering Rivendell, I finally decided she had trusted me with her own secrets and fears, so shared why I had been so easily winkled out of my home. She fell silent, her eyes watching my face for a long time as I fidgeted. When she finally spoke her voice was low and gruff, but her words were kind.

“I am sorry. And I understand why my brother loves you, Bella. I am glad you are here with us.”

“As am I.”

 

The next two days made the preceding months feel relaxed as the new arrived dwarves adjusted to their home and the entire kingdom prepared for the wedding. I hid away with Balin, listening to his advice on how to deal with each advisor and noble in the days to come as they swore their fealty to me as they had for Thorin. I had hoped Gandalf might attend, but Balin said even the Wizard would not be permitted to see the coronation of a Queen and the marriage ceremony of the line of Durin. I was grateful we had the excuse of tradition to keep the Men and Elves from the ceremony, though Bard had sent a thoughtful note to me and Thranduil had sent a kingly gift of food, enough to have a proper wedding feast. Thorin had only buried his face in his hands when the wagon train arrived the day before, murmuring to Dís that the elf would find a way to make us pay for such a gift. Dís had agreed before pointing out any payment down the road was worth giving Erebor a night without rationing. I already loved how my sister spoke to her brother, and watching how Thorin relied on her blunt advice gave me a measure of confidence that I would find my own way to be strong for Erebor.

 

The morning of the wedding, Dís woke me gently and helped me bathe and dress. The plumbing was still broken and hot baths had become a luxury, and I luxuriated in the small tub in front of my fire for longer than I should have. I was trying to avoid looking at my dress on its stand nearby. Lord Elrond, possibly at Gandalf’s urging, had sent silk and velvet in midnight blue and green as his wedding gift and the skilled seamstresses of Erebor, used to long years of mending and tailoring for Men, did their King proud with their work. I stared at my dress as Dís held it up for me and hid my face. “I’m just a hobbit.” The embroidery alone was stupendous and unique, using silver wire to hold pearls in place along my sleeves and bodice in a pattern of leaves and flowers I found difficult to believe wasn’t real. The neckline was modest, and the skirt full, but knowing I would be wearing it in front of thousands dried my tongue to the roof of my mouth as Dís touched my shoulder.

“Thorin would never love just anything. You reclaimed our Mountain, Bella. You earned this.” Dís was smiling at me, her eyes soft. “And you have brought my brother happiness, after so many years of solitude.” She braided my hair skillfully, and it was strange to see a different pattern from my betrothal braids frame my face. When she nestled my crown atop my head to make sure the braids would support it I stared at myself in the mirror and reached out, touching the cool surface, not seeing myself in the serene countenance of the beautiful hobbit woman before me. Dís nodded as I stood and faced her. “You will make a fine queen, Belladonna.”

“I feel a fraud, but I will stand by Thorin when he needs me.” I took a deep breath and followed her into the hall, where Fíli and Kíli waited in their own finery. Fíli took the crown from me and winked, bringing a smile to my face. At my insistence, Bofur was going to walk me to Thorin, while the rest of the Company formed an honor guard for me. We were holding the ceremony in the Great Market, the only space large and safe enough for everyone, but when I stepped out from the tunnel I sagged into Dís. “Did we take a wrong turn?”

The stalls where rations of food were handed out were gone, and in their place stood golden urns twice my height filled with fresh cuttings from the evergreens at the edge of the Desolation, needles of all textures and colors filling the air with their sharp scent. It easily overwhelmed the faint dragon stench that still lingered, and the rows of benches from the dining hall shone in the light of enormous lanterns I had never seen before suspended from the ceiling. Everywhere I looked I saw different treasures from the hoard, tears filling my eyes as I recognized the pretty statues and baubles were meant as tributes from my family, and Kíli slipped a handkerchief into my hand as we walked. “Balin told us we all had better be on hand to help you today, Bella.”

“You mean to keep my tears at bay.” I sniffled, embarrassed, but Dís’ eyes glittered and even Fíli wiped at his eyes as we continued across the perfect floor of green marble, looking at what Thorin had done for me. The altar, up on a temporary dais of stone, was a large anvil of pure mithril inset with carvings depicting the creation of the Seven Fathers and Six Mothers, and two priestess and one priest busied themselves with the ceremonial tools while Balin watched them, his face creased in a smile he didn’t try and hide as he waved to us. Dís laughed as we walked across the echoing chamber to the screen where I would wait while the dwarves took their places. “Thorin has had many months to plan this for you. He insisted some sort of greenery be present and this was the only option.”

“It’s perfect.” I sat on the stool gingerly, afraid to wrinkle my dress, my hand clutching Sting’s pommel. That the entire wedding party would be armed still seemed strange, but my weapon at least had a craftsmanship that every dwarf could appreciate. Dís left me to see to the last minute details, and soon the steady tramp of booted feet filled the air for nearly an hour. I thought of my mother and father, wishing they could be with me to see I had found happiness, and their fears had not come to pass. Finally Bofur appeared, resplendent in his formal robes of orange and yellow, and smiled at me, leaning on his mattock.

“Ready, lass?”

“As I’ll ever be.” Drums and harps provided a solemn accompaniment to the lone flutist piping me down the center aisle towards Thorin and the rest of the Company. Their weapons made a deadly arch but I walked without fear under their steel until I faced Thorin and Balin. Thorin was every inch a King, his heavy crown framing his face, his midnight blue robes lending him a dignity that fit entirely with his kingdom, but I found myself missing his heavy fur coat and armor, my breeches and torn waistcoat. We would never be as free as we had been on the road, and as Bofur helped me up the steps of the dais and left me, I felt the pressure of thousands of eyes on me and for a brief instant wondered if this was worth it. Then Thorin smiled briefly, his face transforming from dignified mask into the familiar one of my lover and I felt an answering smile bloom as we stood side by side and faced Balin.

Thorin’s hand snuck out to take my hand despite the fact we weren’t supposed to touch, and I moved through the ceremony by rote, until it was time for me to be crowned. As the kingdom took in my crown with approval, Thorin spoke the ancient formulas and I formed my reply carefully, the harsh syllables twisting my mouth. I bent my head but did not kneel, and when my crown settled on my hair I looked up as Queen of Erebor, of the line of Durin, and had to laugh at the sight of my family each holding a handkerchief for me as Thorin drew me into a kiss and the cheers of our subjects made the Mountain reverberate with their joy.

 

I was carried on Fíli and Kíli’s shoulder’s to the dining hall, clutching my crown in one hand and Sting in the other, trying not to hurt them as I laughed uncontrollably. I was deposited on Thorin’s chair, and my husband ceded it to me graciously, sitting to my right with no trace of embarrassment. I raised my goblet of mead when everyone was seated and stood on the chair after realizing no one could see me. “I expect you all know this food is Thranduil’s idea of a proper wedding present.” The jeers rang loud and I laughed. “So rest assured that I will sample every dish and make sure the food is up to your standards.” Thorin grinned up at me as I sat amid cheers, my cheeks flushed.

“Which one would you like to start with, my Queen?” Everyone took turns feeding me until I finally had to admit defeat and fell into Thorin’s shoulder giggling as Fíli and Kíli leapt on the table to reenact the night with the trolls, their boots barely missing fingers and food as they leapt about. Their friend Gimli, who had the beginnings of a beard to rival his father one day, was roped into playing a troll and we all raised our goblets in a toast when they finally finished, the ruins of the meal on the table reminded me of mine after attempting to feed the Company and I had to take a deep breath. Thorin caught my chin in his hand and kissed my nose. “I know that look. I think I ought to give you a chance to recover in private.”

“Oh, is that your only motivation?” He laughed as he threaded his arm through mine and stood, waving to his subjects as they cheered our departure raucously. Dwalin was at our side in an instant, waving away Thorin’s halfhearted objections.

“You’re neither in a state to defend yourselves, Majesties.”

“You really think they would try something tonight?” Thorin waved his hand as Dwalin opened his mouth. “Of course you do. I expect guards posted at a very discreet distance, however.”

“Of course, my King.” Dwalin whistled sharply and two more guards arrived to flank us. The mead had clouded my mind slightly, but the cold air of the tunnels leading to the Royal Wing was as good as a slap to the face.

“Thorin, what is he talking about?”

“There are some among my nobles who enjoyed the greater power they had when I was in exile and nearly penniless. My return to my birthright has weakened them and Dwalin sees assassins in every corner. I personally don’t think they would go so far but I would appreciate if you allowed me to assign you guards for a time.”

“As my husband wishes.” Thorin flashed his grin down at me and his arm tightened on mine.

“I do, wife.” Dwalin checked the room before leaving us, his parting wink bringing a flush to my cheeks as Thorin locked the door and turned to me.

“You looked like that when you asked me to share _sanzarira_.” His deliberate step towards me brought a small moan of desire to my lips and my husband took my hand in his, kissing my fingers, the palm of my hand, the inside of my wrist. “Your heart leapt like that when I held you.”

“I have missed your arms around me.” I stepped into the embrace of his arms and raked my hand down his robes. Thorin led me to the bedroom, his eyes never leaving my face as he walked backwards, and I couldn’t tear my eyes from his loving gaze, his warm earth scent filling my world.

Before I could remove my crown or even my slippers, he stopped and held me close. “Now that we are wed, I can tell you something I have had to hold secret from you.”

“Your true name?” I recalled the confusion they had had with my nickname and my full name, they thinking I had just exposed my deepest secret and my utter shock at their reaction, recognizing what a treasure he was holding to me.

“Aye.” I closed my eyes as he dropped his lips to my ear and whispered a rolling string of syllables that seemed to burn into my brain. I shivered and he urged me to repeat it back to him. I mangled it the first time, but his laughter only encouraged me and my fifth try produced the same sensation and Thorin smiled as he nodded.

“We shall give you a true name soon.”

“I am honored.”

“We are, my wife.” My marriage braids were beyond elaborate and held in place with a wealth of jeweled hairpins and Thorin’s beads. As he undid the edifice, he kept stroking his thumbs over my ears and cheeks, until I panted with desire for him. And as he led me to our marriage bed, I knew tonight would be among the best of my life. Thorin turned in surprise as I pushed him, causing him to land on his side in the bed. I was on top of him in an instant, and he allowed me to take control, undressing him slowly, planting kissing on exposed skin and listening to his breath to tell me when I was pushing him over the edge. We were soon tangled together, our bare skin warm despite the chill in the air, and Thorin obeyed me as I lay back on the bed and he teased my pearl, my hands in his hair guiding him as I reached my peak and pulled him back despite his growl of want. Our eyes met and he reached up to rest his hand around my waist, his thumb running down my ribs and bringing a laugh to my lips as I released him. “You are so lovely.”

“On your back, my king.” Thorin obeyed me with a smile, his hair spread out on the bed below him as I straddled his hips and braced myself on his strong chest. As I lowered myself onto his length, he grabbed my hips, his eyes closed and lips parted as he moaned my name. We rocked together, and I felt myself approaching an orgasm as I sped my pace and my husband’s face twisted as he bucked into me, his voice crying my name as he spent himself inside me and I collapsed across his chest, panting as his hands carded through my hair and he buried his nose in my hair. Without saying anything, he picked me up in one arm and pulled the blankets down, and I relaxed into him as we adjusted to the other and I giggled as he bit the top of my ear so gently it was more of a kiss. “You are so strong.”

“Are you happy, my Bella?” His hand pressed into my back and I nuzzled the scars on his neck before replying.

“Happier than I can say, Thorin.”

“Then I have succeeded.” He planted a sloppy kiss on my forehead and settled back into the bed with a sigh, pulling me closer to him, and I could tell he was on the edge of sleep.

“What do you mean?”

“Hmm?” He groaned as I poked him in the ribs. “What?”

“What did you mean?” I stared up at him and he pursed his lips before answering.

“I mean that when I saw you jump in front of me, transforming into a warrior in an instant, I swore to Mahal and Eru and Yavanna that I would do whatever it took to apologize for my earlier behavior towards you and make you happy.”

“Rather a complicated thought for such a heated moment.”

“Well, it had some later refinement. I think my exact thought was that if we lived it would be a miracle.” I laughed and pressed a kiss to the center of his chest. “Sleep, my Bella. You have more than earned some respite.”

"As have you, love." One last searing kiss ensured my dreams were sweet, though a strange moment as I stirred awake stuck with me. I beheld the Misty Mountains as though I stood on the Carrock, and a dark shadow oozed down the slope towards me, shapeless but full of malevolent intent. I woke with a gasp and was immediately distracted by Thorin’s good morning bite on my collarbone, but the feeling of unease did not leave me.

 

We stayed in our room for an entire day, luxuriating in the privacy and the other’s presence. Thorin hid my clothes from me and taught me how to weave the marriage braids, and when I was done he held one of the mithril beads in his hand and traced over the stylized lavender motif I had chosen as a symbol, thinking it a good balance between my Shire roots and my dwarf husband. “I will miss this time. Such days will be few and far between, my Queen.”

“We will make the most of them, then.” I lay back in our bed and stretched, letting my body relax as I tried to realize I was part of a couple, that my things were our things, and felt my heart speed up as I turned to look at the other half of my life. “I will make your Mountain bloom again.”

“I know. Food will be paramount and we will need more of Yavanna than Mahal for these first years.” Thorin groaned as he rolled over, his hand tangling in my hair. “We’re home.”

“Our home.” I whispered. “A home full of life and laughter and families.”

“You earned it.”

“You gave it to me.” I felt tears filling my eyes and buried my face in my husband’s chest. “I owe you so much, Thorin.”

“No, _ghivashel_. You have brought me happiness unlooked for and though you will deny it, you saved Erebor through your quick thinking and bravery.” Thorin pulled me into his chest and ran his fingers over my pink scars, then pulled me into a long kiss. “And I can only look forward to the years I have to discover your other talents.” I giggled as he dropped his lips to my throat and his hands tightened on my waist, his desire overwhelming.

“Then let me start your education, my King.” His laughter warmed me, and I decided I would enjoy each day I had been granted with him, no matter what we faced, and let his kisses carry me into the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that escalated quickly. Thank you all so much for sticking with this story and for your encouragement and kind words. I will be taking a week to listen to Thorin and his view on the early part of the journey, and start posting that once I have a handle on it. There’s already about fifty pages of Bella and Thorin’s future, and the changed history of Middle Earth that I realize I’ve set in motion, and that will start soon. I’m quite sad that AO3 doesn’t have a private message system so I started a [tumblr](http://steampagan.tumblr.com/) just so if you want to shoot me a message you can.   
> Again, I’m humbled by all of your lovely comments and kudos, and hope you stick around for my next story. I wish I could hug all of you so accept Internet hugs in their place.


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